'Dallas' Recap: Emma Is a Tramp We Love to Hate

DallasOh, Emma. She’s such a twisted little trollop. Emma’s not a big fan of clothing or commitment ... and her stripper ways made for another sudsy episode of Dallas.

Early on, Emma is sauntering around Southfork in a red-hot bathing suit you will not find at Bloomies. John Ross and Pamela are playfully making pancakes together in the kitchen, laughing and flirting like newlyweds with no children do, when whipped cream is brought into the mix. There was no syrup in sight ... just whipped cream. It’s Dallas. Anyway, John Ross squirts some on Pamela’s cleavage and licks it off as Emma watches in horror. The girl is mad jealous. When Pamela looks away, Emma shows John Ross her hoochie swimsuit to turn his attention back where it belongs. But she doesn’t stop there. No, no, no. Like I said, Emma is perverted.


Emma becomes chummy with her lover’s wife -- even accompanying her on a shopping spree for sexy honeymoon lingerie. Imagine talking sex and buying skivvies with your husband’s mistress! OMG. Emma encourages Pamela to surprise John Ross so the new friends can have a kiss-and-tell. She makes a point to seduce John Ross in the lingerie Pamela bought and sends him home to his wife. When Pamela peels off her clothes to unveil the same get-up Emma wore, John Ross is overcome with guilt. He has flashbacks of Emma and turns Pamela down.

Sue Ellen continues to struggle with the ghost of her philandering husband, J.R., and wonders if she’s transferring old feelings of betrayal to their son. She tells Ann she feels sick to her stomach every time she sees John Ross and Emma together. Bum eventually confirms Sue Ellen’s suspicions of an affair and apologizes for lying. I cannot wait to see Sue Ellen bitchslap Emma. Yeah, I am betting that will happen.

John Ross and Bobby are still trying to one-up each other in the race to secure capital for the Arctic lease deal. Word gets out to the Southfork ranch hands that John Ross is planning on fracking and all hell breaks loose. “J.R. Jr.’s” blind ambition may cost them their jobs, and Beau, the head ranch hand, starts a fist fight with him in frustration. Bobby sees John Ross taking some hard punches and waits to break it up to “teach him a lesson.” Bobby promised his deceased mama he would never turn their cattle ranch into an oil field. Unlike John Ross, who has yet to keep a promise, Bobby tries to be a man of his word.

John Ross calls Beau into his office after the scuffle, and he assumes he’s going to be fired. Instead, John Ross tells him he “enjoyed the workout” and confronts him about dealing drugs at Southfork. A master blackmailer, he threatens to contact authorities if Beau doesn’t take his side. “Get your men to hop on board my train, or watch them get run over,” he said. Beau agrees to save his own ass (shocker). Just when John Ross gets his ducks in a row with the ranch hands, his plans are spoiled by Bobby holding a Lesser Prairie Chicken. There will be no fracking if there’s an endangered species clucking on Southfork. Point ... Bobby.

Christopher’s breakup beard must give him some superpowers. He discovers Nicholas’ past business doesn’t add up and confronts Cliff Barnes in jail. When that goes nowhere, he does some digging and finds a jilted former business associate of Nicholas’ in Mexico. He reveals that Nicholas has no birth certificate, no history ... he just appeared out of thin air in 1997. Word gets around that Christopher is asking about Nicholas and two scary looking men tell him to get into a car to learn more (I, for one, would have run the other way, but I don't have Christopher’s badass beard). He was brought to a huge mansion with armed guards to meet Nicholas’ wife.

While Christopher meets Nicholas’ wife, Nicholas is getting it on with Elena. Nicholas confesses he has always wanted her, and Elena quickly takes her shirt off. Even though their plan to get Rhonda to tell the truth that the Ewings bribed her to implicate Cliff Barnes in J.R.’s murder fell through, they were still up for sex. Again, it’s Dallas.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Is Emma Ryland a tramp you love to hate?

Image via TNT

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