"People have this image of me that it's chaos." Who could that be?! If you guessed Lindsay Lohan, then you'd win a prize. But, sorry, we're all out of prizes because everyone would say Lindsay Lohan. Her name is synonymous with chaos. Now we can finally live the chaos with her when her OWN reality show, Lindsay, debuts this Sunday 10 p.m. The hook? Fresh out of rehab, Lindsay and her sober coach move back to New York so Lindsay can be closer to her family, especially co-dependent momager, Dina. Which may or may not be a bang-up idea. There, Linds tries to get her life and career back on track. What could go wrong? This is LiLo we are talking about, people, so the question is more, What could go right?
The trailer reveals a gravely-voiced LiLo saying that she has absolutely no desire to drink anymore:
There's nothing left in having a drink for me. What's left in that feeling? Nothing. There's no party that I haven't gone to. There's no person that I haven't hung out with. There's no situation that I haven't been exposed to.
The show promises a no-holds-barred account of Lindsay's "issues," and judging by the trailer, it won't disappoint. We see Lindsay confronting her father, Michael, who is still in denial about what kind of a parent he was. We see Lindsay melting down a few times. We see her saying that she likes to "sabotage" her life.
And we see Lindsay being late for a shoot. Her reputation for being punctually-challenged rivals that of Marilyn Monroe. Only she's no Marilyn Monroe.
More From The Stir: Lindsay Lohan's Interview With Oprah: 8 Mind-Blowing Moments
Finally, someone has to bring in the big guns ... Oprah!! By the look on O's face as she rides in a limo to confront her protege, you can just tell there's gonna be a major ass kicking. Laments Oprah:
This is exactly what everybody said was going to happen. And I believed differently.
Why do you think you know so much better, Oprah??? Pfft. But on the other hand, if she didn't think Lindsay would live up to her hot mess reputation, there wouldn't have been much point in filming a "documentary." Oprah's final bit of advice?
You need to cut the bullshit. You really do.
But don't cut it until the show is over, Linds!
The Stir will be recapping the premiere episode this Sunday night. Will you watch?
Image via OWN TV/YouTube