Say what you will about HBO's latest prestige series True Detective, but it's absolutely mesmerizing. Me, I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet. I am reserving all judgment until the season has come to a close. For now I will say that I'm among the many folks who are totally hooked on the strange ride Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson, director Cary Fukunaga, and writer/creator Nic Pizzolato have taken us on.
It's a hell of a show, completely dark and fascinating, and I can think of few ways that the folks behind the scenes could make it more compelling. You know, except for re-shooting the entire thing featuring cats instead of human beings. OH EXCEPT WAIT. THAT HAPPENED. AND IT WAS GREAT. GREAT I TELL YOU. Well, they didn't re-shoot the whole thing, but one ardent fan did a cat-filled parody of the show's opening credits and I can't stop watching it.
Frankly, cats should be utilized in many, many more television programs. I think I am not out of line if I say most, if not all television would be greatly improved if the casts were banished and the cats were brought in. Here are a few examples that only serve to support my central thesis:
1. The Real Housewives of ANYWHERE
I mean, the cat fight jokes write themselves. Additionally, why waste good booze by throwing it on people when you can have outraged cats being doused with water by their enemies. I feel I've made my point.
2. New Girl
I actually love New Girl! I ain't even care what all y'all T.V. snobs say -- Schmidt amuses me. You know what might amuse me more? If Zooey Deschanel accidentally swapped bodies with a fluffy white blue-eyed kitten. Think of the shenanigans, you guys -- nay, the hijinks!
3. Grey's Anatomy
This show has done everything imaginable -- time jumps, a musical episode, killing off at least two-thirds of the cast. Why not replace everyone with cats? It's basically just logic.
4. The Bachelor
... on second thought, this might be too obscene. Plus, I firmly believe in spaying and neutering your pets. That said, after Juan Pablo's unrelenting desire to make out with everyone/thing, would it really be so shocking to see some animals follow the natural order of things during a rose ceremony? Probably not.
5. The Vampire Diaries
Ian Somerhalder would support this -- he loves animals! Plus, the cats wouldn't have to get in character. If we needed to get their fangs for a shot, we'd just cover the extras in tuna and let them go to town!
What other shows do you think could be improved with the strategic use of cats?
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