We love it when Jessica Simpson posts photos of her adorable kids. And we loved it when Jessica Simpson posted photos of her baby bump. But when Jessica Simpson posts a photo while kissing her husband in bed, I find myself stammering, "Oh, ah, excuse me!" and looking for the door. Except there is no door. There is only Jessica, Eric Johnson, their true, true love, and about seven million looky-loos. Why does this moment need to be shared?!?
"Goodnight kiss. I love this man," captions Jessica. Just in case we were under the mistaken impression that this was in fact a morning kiss and that she merely likes the man in the photo. Okay! Thanks for letting us know, Jessica! This is not at all awkward for us. I think I can smell Eric's breath from here. And it's not bad -- smells like he's used mouthwash. Good for him. I really don't think I should know what his breath smells like, though.
Now look, I'm super happy for Jessica. She looks blissed out -- every mom of two littles should be this in love. But why am I being invited into her BED? I don't care if this makes me an old-fashioned dork, I think photographing your Bed Love and then posting it on Instagram for the masses just cheapens that love. Intimacy is intimacy because it's, you know, intimate. It's not like Jessica and Eric are having a bed-in for peace, like John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
Half of you probably have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.
My point is, ew. When you share a photograph, you are inviting the audience to join you in that space. And do you really want seven million people in your face while you recline on your pillows and kiss your man good night? I don't! Not that seven million people want to see me kissing my man in bed in the first place, but even if they did, the answer is NO, you cannot see that. Here's what I think would be cool to share.
- Jessica and Eric kissing in a park while wearing clothes.
- Jessica and Eric holding hands while walking down the beach.
- Jessica and Eric smashing wedding cake in each other's faces.
- Eric painting Jessica's toenails.
- Jessica and Eric staring into each other's faces in a way that makes us smile for them but roll our eyes just a little.
- Jessica pinching Eric's butt.
See? I am not such a prudish ogre. I'm all for Jessica sharing her love with her fans. Just not the pillow love.
Does this photo make you feel uncomfortable or do you love it?
Image via Jessica Simpson/Instagram