The '80s are back in a big way. Rubber bracelets, blue eyeliner, high tops ... even the Texas Tuxedo (acid-washed jeans and jean shirts are suddenly everywhere). Thankfully, so is Dallas. After months of waiting and TNT teasing the hell out of the show, it finally returned tonight.
The premiere episode did not disappoint, and not just because we got a gratuitous slow-mo shot of John Ross in his boxer briefs five minutes into it. Well played, Dallas. Anyway, John Ross is obsessed with emulating his father “from tip to tail.” In true J.R. fashion, he’s having a torrid affair with Emma who conveniently lives across the hall from him and his new wife, Pamela. He’s also going toe-to-toe with Bobby about remodeling Southfork and drilling on the land.
Even with the flare-ups between John Ross and Bobby, the Ewings are savoring their victory over longtime nemesis Cliff Barnes. They took control of his company and framed Cliff for J.R.’s murder. Cliff’s stuck behind bars, and he’s down ... but definitely not out. He strikes an unlikely partnership with Elena Ramos. Nothing unites like hatred for the Ewings.
Elena is consumed with secret thoughts of revenge for previous wrongs against her family. She blames the Ewings for her father’s death, for cheating her out of a company she helped build, and for stealing a deed to land that was rich with oil. She turns to an old childhood friend, Nicolas Treviño, to help her serve justice.
Meanwhile, Christopher is reeling from his breakup with Elena. As Bobby’s adopted son, he’s still desperate to stake his claim in the family business. But he’s one of a handful of guys in the world who can pull off a full beard and make chopping wood in flannel look like soft porn. He’s got that going for him, agreed? Oh, and I think he will soon have a roll in the hay with Heather, the new rebellious ranch hand. She turned his frown around.
The only thing I missed tonight was a boozy Sue Ellen. She seems to be holding it together after her two-step back into addiction following J.R.’s death. Perhaps planning a proper wedding for John Ross and Pamela at Southfork will keep her sober, but I think not. She did inadvertently see her son kiss his side dish, and I bet that will make her reach for her shot glass very soon.
What did you think about the season premiere of Dallas?
Image via TNT