"Imma let you finish ..." Kanye West will never live down that time he interrupted Taylor Swift's 2009 MTV Video Music Awards speech. He was right, of course -- Beyonce was, is, and always will be better than Taylor Swift. But still. His delivery was cringeriffic, and the backlash merciless. Such is the tortured life of a prophet, as Kanye well knows. So how did he get over his global humiliation? You'd be surprised. Wait, no, you wouldn't be, come to think of it. Kanye's reported 2009 Taylor Swift Interruptus Recovery Plan was 100 percent Kanye West.
He told Interview magazine he turned to "God, sex, and alcohol" to overcome his great trial, "a lot of sex." I wonder if God is surprised to hear this. Is he confused about the three components of the godhead? Or is this Kanye's godhead? It sounds like of the three, he relied upon sex the most. And that makes sense because sex is definitely the most fun of the three. But if I were to make a pie chart of Kanye's coping mechanisms, it might look like this.
Kanye West's Coping Mechanisms
Now, let's imagine a pie chart showing what we wish Kanye had turned to instead.
What We Wish Kanye Had Turned to Instead
But you know, we can't begrudge Kanye's recovery program too much. After all, it's partly responsible for baby North. And she's the main reason why we put up with Kanye.
Things That Redeem Kanye
Are you surprised Kanye relied on these three things to get over Taylor Swiftgate?
Image via Kenny Sun/Flickr