'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Recap: Kris & Bruce Tell the Kids They're Getting Separated

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The ninth season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians kicked off tonight with a bang -- or should I say with the pop of a champagne cork at the oddest time imaginable. Anyone who assumed Bruce and Kris were devastated over their decision to spend time apart simply needed to watch this episode because it is apparent the two are doing things their way and are quite settled and happy with their choice. Now, how their kids feel...well, that's a different story.

We first see Bruce at his Malibu house. He looks content. He has a surfer-dude ponytail, for chrissake, so it's safe to say the man is doing well. Kris reminds him his lease is up soon and that she is looking forward to getting the family back under one roof -- mostly, it seems, because she doesn't like how people are speculating that their relationship is on the rocks. It's clear Bruce doesn't give a flip about rumors. He looks crushed just thinking about leaving the drama-free environment of his second home. You just know this isn't going to end well. 

Just as Bruce suspected, he feels unwelcome once he returns home. His things have mysteriously disappeared from the garage (seriously, what the hell happened to his stuff?) and he isn't feeling the energy Kris is putting out. To his credit, he sits her down and admits he already called his real estate agent to extend his Malibu lease. Kris seems hurt that he didn't speak to her about this first, but his mind -- and hair -- are clearly made up.

Bruce says he doesn't want a divorce, but is simply happier not living there. Kris agrees they should define their marriage however they want and that life is too short for them not to be happy. They then hit the kitchen to pop open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Wait..what?! Yeah, a bottle of champagne. No we-just-broke-up-let's-throw-China-at-each-other in this house!

Then Kris and Bruce call a family meeting. And all hell breaks loose. 

Their kids feel too much time apart has screwed up their relationship. Kendall is clearly the most affected by their news and it's heartbreaking to hear her ask if this means she is losing her siblings. Given all the stress Khloe is under dealing with her separation from Lamar and the constant harassment of the paparazzi, it's no shock she snaps at Kris -- though screaming "Don't f**k with me" after her mom reminds the kids to let them do things their way is kind of extreme. 

On the bright side, Kim emerges from this episode seeming more clear-headed and logical than most -- she thinks Kris and Bruce are making the right decision and says Bruce is still their dad no matter what happens. Totally sweet. She also spearheads a later effort to get all of the Jenner and Kardashian kids on the same page so that they can answer the media's questions in the same manner. Being a mom has brought out the mama bear in Kim!

In other news, Khloe is still standing by Lamar and respecting his privacy, though it's apparent she has lost most of her connection with him. She is utterly destroyed at this point and says she can't look people in the eyes, even though she didn't do anything. Just when you want to reach out and give her a huge hug, someone else -- usually Kourtney or Kendall -- do it for us. Girl will be just fine because she is so, so loved. 

Finally...Kim and Kanye's new house. Sigh. It's still under construction and won't be ready for at least a year, but who cares how long it takes -- it's going to have a 70 ft pool and more grass than exists in all of Montana! 

Life seems good for most of the Kardashian/Jenner tribe and time will tell if Bruce and Kris are really this happy and just how Khloe bounces back.

Do you believe Kris and Bruce's separation is as amicable as it seems? Did anything else surprise you in this premiere episode?

 

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