Farrah Abraham's Mom Stopped Her From an Abortion Then Gave Up (VIDEO)

farrah abraham couples therapyFarrah Abraham has made a lot of mistakes. It's almost as if she's been navigating the choppy waters of teen motherhood without the help of her parents -- which, ehrm, in many ways is the truth. But once upon a time her mom, at least, was more involved in her life. Farrah Abraham says she wanted an abortion, but her mom, Debra Danielson, talked her out of it. "I tell my mom that I'm pregnant," Farrah says on VH1's Couples Therapy, "and I tell her, 'Here's the form that I need you to sign, you know Plan B, you know, takes it away. Everything's fine." Farrah says her mom started crying and said something that changed the entire course of Farrah's life.

"And my mom starts crying and then she's like, 'You know, we believe in God, and you're not gonna kill a living thing.'" And that was that. Farrah dropped the idea of terminating her pregnancy and months later had her daughter, Sophia. Imagine how different her life would be, otherwise.

An aside, I think Farrah must have meant an abortion pill; Plan B is for when you've had unprotected sex and need contraception to keep from becoming pregnant -- it's not for terminating a pregnancy. And when Farrah says her mom said, "you're not gonna kill a living thing," she probably meant a human being. I'm sure she's not thinking of chickens and houseplants.

But the point is, Farrah came to her mother in a moment of crisis, and Debra responded with a moral judgment. Like Farrah's therapist says, what she really needed at this point was more than a moral lesson from her mom; She needed real support.

I think this is something parents get wrong when they see their teens make mistakes -- like getting pregnant. They want moral absolutes to do all the work, when what kids really need is someone to listen and care first of all, and secondly they need an ethical framework to help them make choices. It may feel scary, just listening first. Debra wanted to exert some more control at a moment when she felt she'd lost control. But control shouldn't even be the issue at that point. Debra should have been trying to help Farrah grow into an ethical adult who can sit and think through a decision with the security that she will be loved no matter what choice she makes.

More from The Stir: 'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham's Mom Starts Acting Like a Real Parent

Once Farrah made the decision to make a porn she probably seemed beyond her mom's influence. Debra may have written Farrah off because she felt she couldn't control her daughter anymore. But it's not about control, it's about influence coming from a place of love and trust.

Acting in a porn isn't the worst thing in the world -- if you're a well-grounded adult. But Farrah is still young and vulnerable. Now that she's reconciled with her mother, I think Debra should work to build a relationship of support and trust with her daughter. She may be surprised at how much influence she can still have with Farrah.

Get More: Couples Therapy

 

What do you think Farrah's parents should have said and done with she first told them she was pregnant?

 

Image via VH1

 

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nonmember avatar LISA

No Farrah probably meant Plan B as "OK change of plans, plan B". And with your wording of this article it pretty much seems like you are unsupportive in the fact that her mother persuaded this teen slut to at the very least not slaughter the creation of her doings that she should be responsible for. Hmm!!

nonmember avatar toni

her mom did the right thing

nonmember avatar tiffany

From what i understand, Plan B is for you to take after unprotected sex to prevent conception. If she had already taken a test and knew she was pregnant, it would have been too late for Plan B. At that point she would have had to have an abortion

Baile... Bailey8307

She could have been a little nicer but I don't think she was out of line to protect that baby. It's not ok to end an innocent life for your own personal convenience. Farrah could have placed the baby for adoption if she didn't want to raise her.

nonmember avatar Melissa

I watched the episode of Couples Therapy that the article is referring to... Farrah was talking about Plan B, the "morning after" pill, not plan b, as in the other option... However, I'm pretty certain Farrah meant RU-486, the abortion pill. As for if her mother right in not signing for Farrah to receive said pill... I got pregnant in my teenage years and it was terrifying to say the least, you feel ashamed and alone and unless you have zero respect for your parents, what they're going to say is the first thing that crosses your mind... Followed quickly by "What am I going to do?" At 22 years old this girl (Farrah) has horrible judgment, I have to imagine it wasn't any better at 16/17. The point the therapist on the show, and the author of this article are both trying to make is that Farrah needed her mother to support her, not agree with her necessarily, or even guide her to the right choice at that particular moment, just be a supportive person, be in her corner, she needed to not feel alone, and by her mother saying "No, this is what we're going to do instead because I say so," Farrah felt like her mother wasn't 'on her side,' so to speak and that what Farrah wanted to do wasn't important. If your parents don't support you, you can easily become lost in this crazy thing called life, and I think we all can agree Farrah is the poster child for being lost.

Redhe... Redhead1010

That was the best thing her mom probably has ever done for Farrah. Because look at her life now & the decisions she has made. Farrah was always so mean to her parents, I couldn't stand watching her throw her fits constantly. She's a brat. I think Farrah would have done what she wanted in the end regardless what her mom had to say. That's clear, because she always had to have her way or she would put on her horrible crying face. Lol Which I couldn't stand to see either, she is so pretty but that face she makes when she crys....wow.

Rosas... RosasMummy

when I was pregnant at 17 my parents offered their support whatever I chose and they gave it and we are all very close and they are very close to my daughter

nonmember avatar lilah

Her mother is an ice cube no wonder farrah is so screwed up. She should have terminated, then she would have had a chance to grow up and become a better person instead of being stuck in a vicious cycle of depending on and rejecting her mother.

nonmember avatar Danielle

She needs to be examined for an adams apple... And psychiatric conditions. This chik is a lying, fame whoring, bi polar nutjob. Her poor beautiful daughter... I really hope cps steps in before its to late!

nonmember avatar Facts

Plan B absolutely IS contraception. It's a large dose of hormones that cause a period, effectively negating any chance of a potentially fertilized egg sticking to a uterine wall and growing.

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