There's so much pressure when it comes to New Year's Eve. Even the most introverted of folks (hello, myself) find that the special vintage silver tray they keep to pile their invitations upon practically overflowing. Parties, quiet dinners, ragers, drunken fetes, or simple pow-wows seem to be happening wherever you turn your head.
But there's so much build-up when it comes to New Year's Eve that disappointment is almost inevitable. Oh sure, you get all dolled up and swill a bunch of champagne. But after the strike of midnight, the gilt falls off the evening and you're left at just another weekend party eating stinky cheeses. That's why I like to keep it traditional when it comes to New Year's Eve celebrations. For me, it's all about what's on T.V.
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Whatever your reason for parking your butt in front of the boob tube tonight, there's no need to explain yourself. You couldn't get a sitter, you were feeling under the weather, it's too cold to even think about putting on pantyhose -- these are all totally valid! Plus, as a New Year's Eve television watching veteran, I'm here to tell you -- it pays to watch. You'll be the one on the cutting edge when it comes to the next workday's water-cooler gossip.
Here's some must-watch programming!
1.) ABC, Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, 8 p.m.
Dick may be gone, but his memory lives on with Ryan Seacrest taking the helm! Tune in here to see what shocking antics Miley Cyrus gets up to this year. My money's on a nip-slip.
2.) NBC, New Year's Eve With Carson Daly, 10 p.m.
Paging all fans of the dearly departed The Office, this is the two-hour special for you! Carson is hosting with Angela Kinsey. So ... that will be ... something?
3.) PBS, New York Philharmonic Gala With Yo-Yo Ma, 8 p.m.
If your average entertainment fare doesn't seem festive enough -- then may I suggest classing up your joint with this sophisticated offering of music featuring everybody's favorite cellist, Yo-Yo Ma!
4.) Nick, TeenNick Top Ten: New Year's Eve Countdown, 11 p.m.
If the kiddos want to stay up for the main event, this hour special might be just the ticket. For the adults, Mr. Mariah Carey -- Nick Cannon -- a brilliant host, will be prominently featured.
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5.) MTV, MTV's New Year's Eve 2014, 10 p.m.
No singing, no dancing, and some commentary from the casts of Girl Code and Guy Code. So that's happening? It's weird that there is no music on an MTV special. Just saying. But maybe you'll like it?
6.) Bravo, Shahs of Sunset, 11 p.m.
What better way to ring in the new year than by catching up on a double-shot of The Shahs of Sunset? I know I've fallen shamefully behind. This decadent treat is the perfect end of year indulgence.
7.) Fox News, All American New Year, 11 p.m.
So this is special. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is joined by Blues Traveler to end 2013 in the most American Way they can manage. I really like that one Blues Traveler song from my middle-school days, so there's that, I guess?
8.) E!, I Am Britney Jean, 11:30 p.m.
This one is just screams "me time." As Britney Spears starts a new chapter of her own life in Vegas, why not look back on her past with this deep, personal look at her life so far. Nothing says "drop that ball" like the tearful confessions of Brit-Brit!
9.) Showtime, House of Lies Live!, 10 p.m.
This one sounds like a sure-fire winner. Long-form improv from a bevy of awesome folks including the cast of Showtime's hit House of Lies, Don Cheadle, Kristen Bell, and Ben Schwartz (who I want to smooch for a multitude of reasons, all of them valid) at the Upright Citizens Brigade in L.A. There is nothing that is not exciting about this one.
10.) CNN, New Year's Eve at Times Square, 9 p.m.
Two of our favorite people Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper host their annual debauched Christmas revel. Tune in to see how Kathy will best make Anderson squirm delightfully this year! Side note: If you Google Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper, it auto-completes with "dating." Oh Google. I have some disappointing news.
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Are you staying in or going out tonight to celebrate?
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