'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Lisa Vanderpump Tries to Bring Peace & Fails Utterly

RHOBHThe Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have saved up all of their drama for the end of the year! Tonight's episode was a bursting pustule of black bile exploding onto the garden at Sur. What better way to end the old year and begin the new year, afresh, I ask you?! 

But get better it did! Bravo used tonight's RHOBH as a set-up for the episode of Vanderpump Rules that followed. The fact that I got to watch Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder skulk around a table of feuding housewives was like God himself gave me a Christmas gift. That's right -- God loves me so much, he gave me a gift on his own birthday. Also, did anyone else notice the LOL-worthy 'SUR' baseball caps all the poor servers were wearing?! I died. Then I tried to buy one online.

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The episode started off tepidly. First off we had Yolanda Foster trying to treat her chin zits. Her jaw-dropping awe at learning people used Visine to cure the redness was like watching a baby eat ice cream for the first time. Yolanda went on a date with her husband and kept the spark alive by giving him a book full of pics of her naked body. I gave those out to my co-workers as Christmas gifts this year. They were nonplussed.  

Next up, Kyle Richards tried to make herself seem body positive by snarking at Joyce Giraud for being too thin. Kyle invited Joyce and Joyce's enemy Brandi Glanville to model dresses at some fake fashion show that we will have to suffer through next week. All the clothes were too big and Kyle was all, "EAT CHEESEBURGERS WOMEN" and I rolled my eyes because puh-lease.

Then everything went to Hades in a Hand-Basket. Lisa Vanderpump invited Joyce to a dinner party along with Yolanda, Brandi, and an assortment of paunchy, middle-aged men with haircuts like Ramona Quimby. Although Lisa offered the dinner as a "fresh start" to Joyce, peace was short-lived. As my Sur favorites fluttered around the table with arched eyebrows, Brandi and Joyce revisited their fight in Palm Springs -- only this time it was worse and ended with basically only four-letter words. My favorite contribution was actually when Lisa, head in hands, let out a 'f*ck' of pure exasperation. 

Have you gotten into Vanderpump Rules? Did you like this cross-over episode? I am ... kind of obsessed.

 

Image via BravoTV

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