Got any New Year's resolutions in mind yet? I generally shy away from the resolution thing. If there's a change in my life I want to make, I just try to make it and not wait for a specific night of the year to vow to myself to make it. So by the time NYE rolls around, I've been working on things I want to improve already. But this isn't super dramatic, so we shouldn't expect someone like Kanye West to be low-key with his resolutions. In fact, he's already announced one of them. You ready, people? Yeezy has announced that he "won't talk shit for a long time. Might be like another six months." WOAH. Kanye West isn't going to talk shit for another six months?!
Hmmm. Anyone want to bet on this?
And what's up with this six months crap? Resolutions are for the whole year. Sure, they usually only last a week or two, or for as long as it takes for you to get too lazy to keep going to the gym, but you're at least supposed to SAY it's for the year.
Not Kanye. Even his resolution not to be controversial has to be controversial.
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Here are some of the things Kanye said in 2013 that I guess we won't be hearing the likes of for at least half of 2014. Supposedly.
The Grammy Awards: "Yeezus is the top one or two album on every single list. But only gets two nominations from the Grammys. What are they trying to say? ... I've never won a Grammy against a white artist."
Nike: "I took the Adidas deal because I have royalties and I have to provide for my family."
Walmart: "I'm gonna be the first hip-hop designer, and because of that, I'm gonna be bigger than Walmart."
On his Watch the Throne collaboration with Jay-Z: "It was like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates talking at the same time. You know which one of us was Steve."
Being a god: "I made that song because I am a god ... I don’t think there’s much more explanation. I’m not going to sit here and defend shit. That shit is rock ’n’ roll, man. That shit is rap music. I am a god. Now what?"
North West: "[She] is in a position of a level of royalty like the Prince and Princess of London."
Being a genius: "People get mad at me saying that I am a creative genius, but it's just obvious. It's, like, factual. I would write 'creative genius' when I go through the airport ... I would put that on customs [forms], where you put what your title is, except for two reasons: It takes too long to write and sometimes I spell the word genius wrong."
Kim is more influential than Michelle Obama: "Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a pic like what my girl Instagrammed the other day."
Jimmy Kimmel: "JIMMY KIMMEL PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES ... OH NO THAT MEANS YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN TOO MUCH GOOD PUSSY IN YOUR LIFE ..."
Interrupting Taylor Swift at the VMAs: "You know, to be a visionary, all you have to do is make decisions based off of your eyes instead of your ears and your memory. So at the moment of the MTV awards, I made that decision off of my eyes. I was like, that’s not correct. That is invalid. Completely invalid."
Hmmm. Something tells me this is going to be a difficult six months for Kanye. But maybe a sweet, sweet six months of quiet for the rest of us.
Do you think he can do it?
Image via Alo Ceballos/Getty