The most exciting thing to happen during this very-special, hour-long season finale of Big Tips Texas? Maybe a prolonged trailer during the commercial break for the return of Teen Wolf. I love that show. All dry wit aside, where last week's episode delivered thrills, chills, and romance, this week's installment was a snooze-fest. The show didn't go out with a whimper, it went out like a silent but deadly toot passing from betwixt the well-cushioned cheeks of a Southern belle.
It's like the show had too much to cover -- so they opted to not cover all of it. What should have been a center-point (Mimi's pregnancy with her boyfriend who is basically a stranger) was so far down the story-telling totem pole that it was actually buried underground. Instead the show decided to spend an inordinate amount of time discussing Morgan's first-ever barrel race at a rodeo.
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Yes. Because what I need more of in my life is a woman with a bitchy-resting-face who is best friends with a goat because no one else can tolerate her sour disposition. Sour! Why this was a main focus instead of Amber's very real drinking problem, I have no earthly conception.
Last week we learned that Amber had been arrested for public intoxication. Her date was arrested for a DUI. This week we learn it was her FOURTH arrest for public intoxication. Her friends try (poorly) to stage an intervention while still in their fleece jammies. Because nothing says "I Care" like not even bothering to put on pants to address your friend's serious problem. Needless to say, this doesn't go well. Still, after dramatically stomping out of the house, Amber returns and agrees to party less. This lasts until she's kicked out of the rodeo for being a drunk jerk. Sadly, while being ushered forth, she did not bellow, "THIS AIN'T MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO," which, I feel, was a real missed opportunity.
Morgan raced barrels okay, I guess. I find this sport to be pointless and perverse, much like Quidditch or soccer. But whatever, people seemed cool with it. She also made up with Krysten, which made me sad -- Krysten, you are a decent woman, get better friends! Ones who don't treat you like garbage after they tell you that your boyfriend is a douche.
Mimi told her mom she was pregnant with a stranger's baby and her mom was cool with it. She was, like, so cool with it that it was almost like this isn't real life but a T.V. show where her mom already knew (*sends an arch look the reader's way*). So that happened.
In other less interesting news: Sabrina's mom -- in the interest of good T.V. -- decided she accepted her awful daughter for wanting to go to stupid college and gave her a check. This was definitely a lackluster episode. I'm on the fence about wanting to see a second season. But I'd be all about an Amber spinoff!
What were your favorite moments from this season? Are you Team Amber Spinoff?
Image via MTV
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