This is going to be the BEST FIVE SECONDS OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Game of Thrones season 4 has released brand-new footage finally, finally, finally! It's the best Christmas gift ever.
Oh, come on, you know you've been in complete withdrawal ever since season 3 ended. It was one of the best seasons of television in the history of television, and I'm not exaggerating. Now that winter's officially, definitely here (are you sick of hearing that yet because I'm not), praise the gods for giving us a sneak peek at what Game of Thrones is going to bestow upon us come spring 2014.
Tyrion Lannister gets arrested?! Is that King Joffrey's Purple Wedding?! Is Sansa rocking a new hairstyle?! Is Jaime's new hand ... golden?! Who is that on the white stallion?!?! Not sure if I've used enough punctuation marks quite yet, but come on, nerds, all of this is sadly pretty exciting.
It's amazing how quickly the Internet has taken apart every single millisecond of this new teaser. Luckily it's easy enough to do since the teaser is so damn short.
Sorry in advance about the image quality, but let's break it down. Every single second of the teaser has something we can talk about:
Who is this?! Is this Daenerys on her white horse? Newcomer Oberyn Martell? Could this possibly be a look at Dorne, the southernmost part of Westeros? And what's with the gold hairpiece? Okay, so there will be far more questions than answers here, but clearly HBO can't give everything away until the season actually airs. How infuriating.
Tyrion's in shackles! He's walking down a long line of seemingly angry onlookers. What could he possibly be accused of? Knowing his and Joffrey's animosity toward each other, the possibilities are endless. Let's just hope he is innocent because he is one of the best characters ever on this show. Don't die, Tyrion!
In terms of who we'd rather see die, OMG, is this the Purple Wedding? Is that Lady Olenna walking away from Joffrey, who's looking all forlorn and pensive? Those of you who have read A Storm of Swords know exactly what this means ...
Check out Jaime Lannister all cleaned up, shaven, paging through his White Book, which records all the deeds by those who have served in the Kingsguard. It's the responsibility of the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard to keep it updated, but let's hope Jaime is able to write with his left hand ... the gold one is bitchin', though.
And finally, Sansa looking out to the distance, hopeful. Since this is Game of Thrones, you know that look will not last long. Her hair's looking a little darker and curlier, and it appears as if she's about to travel somewhere. Maybe she is going to escape her love-less marriage to Tyrion. Who, as we saw earlier, gets arrested. Will she finally be reunited with her family? (Who the heck is left?)
That's it, folks! Better than nothing and it's wonderful to see season 4 finally coming together after so much hype. Can't wait to check out what HBO releases next!
What are you looking forward to seeing most in season 4 of Game of Thrones?
Image via HBO