Caroline Manzo Somewhere (presumably in the tri-state area) Chris Christie is shaking his head sadly. That is because it is my most staunch (and admittedly misguided) belief that when he is not listening to Bruce Springsteen or ruling the duchy of New Jersey from his lux tracksuits, the dude follows Caroline Manzo and the other Jersey Housewives as closely as I follow the hi-jinks of Michael Keaton.

I kind of wish I had Christie's cellphone number. Because I know that back when Caroline announced she wouldn't be returning I would've gotten eighteen straight lines of Christie-emojiis featuring weeping mimes and a child staring out of a window into the moonless night sky. The dude is emotional, you guys.

 

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I also know that Christie would be as grossed out as I am about the allegations breaking against Caroline's hubby, Albert Manzo. According to a law suit filed by a former employee of his at the event space the Brownstone, Albert and his brother Tommy made it their business to hurl racist, sexist, and just uh, generally awful things at their employees. Stay classy, you guys.

If the employee's claims are true, I hope that Chris Christie is making the calls necessary to procure a Paula Deen costume. He will then have an intern mail to Albert as penance for shaming the Garden State. As Christie decrees, so mote it be.

I can't imagine Caroline is thrilled with these developments either. She quit Housewives to stay away from -- you guessed it -- drama. Yeah, she's a stand-by-your man type, but fingers crossed that stance doesn't keep her from calling him out on his flaws. Though to call major mistreatment of your staff a "flaw" is kind of like calling dismemberment "getting an ouchie".

Do you think the Manzos will issue a statement, or stay mum?

 

Image via Bravo