Call it the Kardashian curse. If you spend even 5 minutes in their company, you'll probably walk away thinking some cosmetic surgeon can at least give you a new pinky or something. So imagine what it must have been like for Bruce Jenner to be married to Kris -- a woman whose skin probably looks better now than it did when she was 17 -- and to be surrounded by a sea of people who age in reverse. A whole lot of psychological trauma took place, I'm imagining. But don't take my clueless word for it. The proof is in the list of plastic surgery procedures Bruce feels he needs to look however way he feels he needs to look. And his latest request is his most bizarre one yet.
The former Olympic gold medalist (and former hunk, if anyone wants to spend a second perusing past photos of him) has decided his neck simply will not do. He wants a tracheal shave, which is a procedure in which the Adam's apple is shaved down so the neck appears to be smoother. It's usually performed on male patients who are planning on undergoing a sex change operation. Uh, pretty sure we can safely say that's not the route Bruce is going down given recent rumors that he's gonna try and seduce Madonna (riiight, that's going to happen).
Still, it definitely seems like an odd fixation, doesn't it? There is a slight risk of damaging the voicebox during the procedure, which would be enough to keep me from getting it, but this doesn't seem to be an issue for the man.
It isn't that I don't believe he has the right to alter his appearance however the hell he feels will suit him, it's that I feel bad that he thinks he needs to continually work on his face instead of, I don't know, reading a good book or traveling around the world or engaging in one of a million other worthwhile activities.
Plastic surgery might just be the Bruce Jenner way of chopping off one's hair after a bad break-up. But Bruce, you already have the cosmetic surgery equivalent of a pixie cut -- now would be a good time to stop the madness and be happy with who you are.
What do you think of Bruce Jenner's latest plastic surgery desire?
Image via Instagram
I create a special savings account
I put a little away at a time
I cut corners until I can afford it
Save? Who has money to save?
I plan to put it on my credit card and love the benefits of the reward program