You know who has the best holiday card of 2013? Ellen DeGeneres does. On her show, Ellen revealed her "Bound 2" spoof holiday card. It's her and wife Portia de Rossi re-creating the now-famous motorcycle mount pose from Kanye West's "Bound 2" video. "Bound for a Merry Christmas! Love, Ellen & Portia," it reads. OMG, amazing. I can't believe I didn't see it before: That video was a holiday card just waiting to happen.
I love this idea so hard, I want to copy it. And maybe I will! And maybe you should, too. I mean, no one has to know you stole the idea from me. I won't tell. So here's the how-to.
1. Find a gorgeous sunset photo for the background. If you're on Instagram, your friends have already taken 100 sunset photos you can snag. Or you could find something via Flickr. Remember: The more dramatic, the better.
2. Decide which one of you will be topless Kim. Since this is a card you're presumably sending to your relatives, I suggest the guy volunteer. Maybe he could wear a long Kim wig? Just an idea.
3. Find a tie-dye t-shirt kind of like Kanye's. It should be in earth tones, not a bright-colored Grateful Dead version.
4. Find a motorcycle to pose with -- very carefully. You don't actually have to ride it. Just both of you sit on it, "Kim" facing "Kanye." Most bike owners hate it when other people touch their ride, so good luck with that.
5. Get the pose right -- Kim is holding Kanye's jaw and neck. Make sure you're not covering your partner's face. Unless your semi-unwilling partner wants his face hidden ... Hmm, something to think about.
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6. Superimpose your motorcycle photo over the sunset photo. I actually don't know how to do this. Sorry. Maybe you do? Could you please explain in a comment below? Thanks!
7. Use a fancy typeface to write your seasons greetings. Don't worry about being clever -- just copy what Ellen said: "Bound for a Merry Christmas." Or you could say "Bound 2 have a Happy New Year" or "Happy Holidays I Am a God." Because maybe you are?
8. Sign your names. No really.
And that's how you play it, player!
Would you dare make a holiday card like this one?