When I first heard rumors that Farrah Abraham was going to be getting her own show on Comedy Central, I took to my bed. Actually, what I did first was throw all of my bedroom furniture out of my apartment windows. Then, I sat down on the cold floor and began to wail, my sobs only amplified by the resonant, naked space. Would I have to resort to leaking all of my sex tapes (of which there are none) in order to be offered a choice TV comedy writing gig?
Then, having taken laudanum, loosened my corsets, and settled myself (because in this scenario, it is the 19th century), I thought better of it. I retrieved my laptop from the street (luckily it landed on my mattress) and began researching these rumors. There's been a lot of talk about Farrah's future on television, and while she's done her fair share of guest appearances, the notion that she'd been given her own show didn't sound REMOTELY FEASIBLE.
More from The Stir: 5 Reasons Farrah Abraham REALLY Wants a New Book Cover
When it comes to rumors about Farrah Abraham, one must always consider the source. Usually, as was the case here, Farrah Abraham is the source of all rumors about Farrah Abraham. She posted one of her hintvids (totally a word that needs to exist) talking about shooting some "funny T.V. stuff." She followed up this study in the art of high suspense and anxiety with posting a pic of some tickets to see a Dave Attell comedy show.
A + B + Dave Attell getting a new show on Comedy Central = Farrah will probably be making an appearance on that show. The world can rest easy. Farrah has not yet been revealed as a secret new version of Tina Fey or this generation's Johnny Carson. Now let us go and sleep the sleep of the angels. But not like, in a death-type of way? Oh whatever. Pass the laudanum.
Should Farrah ever host a late night talk show? (The answer is always yes.)
Image via Instagram