When I see a photograph of Zoe Saldana, I immediately try to sit up a little straighter. I try to make my non-neck long and lean like a swan's neck -- like hers. One look is enough to remind you that she's an incomparable beauty.
But I'm not an impressionable kid (mostly) anymore, and it takes more than legs-for-days to even begin coaxing me into emulating any ol' A-lister. Good trick that Zoe Saldana isn't "just" anything. Sure, she's beautiful, but actually read some of the words in those articles about her or (heaven forfend) listen to any of the words coming out of her mouth and you'll quickly learn that Zoe Saldana is role model material.
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This is clear like a well-executed ice cube (I AM GOOD AT SIMILES, YOU GUYS) in her recent cover-girl article for Flare magazine. Not only does Zoe strike several killer poses, she speaks with a sly, incisive wit that makes you want to befriend her or trip her when she walks by, depending on whether or not your admiration manifests as immature envy. If you are the tripping kind, Saldana has some choice words:
Women who are very whiny annoy the fucking crap out of me. It’s impossible for my sisters and me to hold a conversation with a woman who is incompetent. It’s one thing to be uncertain, a little insecure and scared, and another thing to be lazy. I can’t deal with mediocrity and incompetence. And you see it in people’s eyes.
I went into my reading already a fan. I mean, I have watched Center Stage roughly "all of the times" and for a brief period actually quoted it in my voicemail greeting (it was during college so my hair was probably regrettable and no doubt I recorded said greeting between sips of Smirnoff Ice because that's straight how I rolled, son). I come away an ardent devotee -- but not in a stalkerish, mail-you-my-feces kind of way, I promise.
The interview is full of morsels sure to inspire you to build a Saldana-based shrine of your very own. Having been raised by a single mother, she's got awesome ideas about what it means to be a woman. Spoiler alert: It means being a lady and still being able to save the world:
Women aren’t wimpy. They don’t complain all the time. They can open up jars! They can fucking save the day! They can support their whole family. They can support their men. Half of my friends make more money than their male partners
I will preach the gospel of Zoe on the streets, verily I will. Even if you for some reason (completely beyond my comprehension) aren't down with her thoughts on men and women, you've got to give it up to the woman for totally helping the American economy by appearing in two MAJOR movies (Avatar and Star Trek), one of which will continue earning because it's a franchise. So go out there and buy an "I heart Zoe" t-shirt. Because one of my cats is also named Zoe, and she only throws up on my head when I'm sleeping sometimes.
What's your favorite Zoe Saldana movie?
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