If a friendship dies on a reality T.V. show and no one other than myself and three cats are watching, does it make a sound? If tonight's episode of Big Tips Texas is any indication, it does. That sound is the snide caterwauling of two women with giant hair and no apparent ability to feel empathy.
As Krysten prepared for the launch of her hand-painted shoe line (a sentence I had to light my brain on fire in order to write sincerely), her bestie Morgan reunited with her estranged d-bag boyfriend, Chase the cowboy. Neither woman suspected that this happy coming together of two barrel-racers in love would lead to their major falling out. I know. It was dramatic.
But before the feud began, we were first treated to a glimpse into pint-sized Mimi's dating life. After a lot of confusing discussion about 'giving one's cookies away' and the use of base vernacular to describe anal sex, Mimi's new suitor took her to play baseball. He taught her the game by groping her buttocks for a time at dusk. Then they announced that they were "like, together." Is this the love of which the poets speak?
Back but to the fight -- which was the real meat this week. Morgan and Chase were in a strop over her refusing to quit the titty-bar where she works as a means to support her dream of one day riding a horse around barrels. She's been staying with Krysten, her work buddy and bestie. When she and Chase reunite (solely because Morgan fears being alone and was confronted with the grim miasma of the void), she decides to tell her friend that Chase thinks Krysten's boyfriend is a slang term used to describe a cat.
Rightly enough, this hurts Krysten. She wants Morgan to apologize. But Morgan and her bitchy-resting-face cannot do it. The best she can manage is making an appearance (dressed inexplicably as Pocahontas) at the 'launch' of Krysten's new fashion line. The two women did speak, but instead watched their drunken coworker Amber Rosales rave about good and evil before being evicted from the premises for prominently displaying her womanly garden to all and sundry.
Is Amber growing on you? She might be my favorite now.
Image via MTV