The delectable George Clooney has finally let us into the reason behind his eternal singlehood. And, no, it's not because he's gay! C'mon, people, George loves the ladies. It's because 52-year-old George just hasn't met the right woman yet. I know. It seems like he's dated every woman 25 to 35 in Hollywood. But that doesn't mean he's met the right woman. Don't believe me? Just ask George. Asked who was the love of his life, picky ol' George replied: "I haven't met her yet." Daaang, George. That's because she probably hasn't been born yet. You'll be 80, she'll be 20. I know the drill.
George, I meet your type all the time. Guys like you grow out of the sidewalks here in New York City. Guys in their 50s or older who still haven't settled down because they haven't found "the one." You know why they haven't? Because she doesn't fucking exist.
George, you've dated a bevy of lovelies. A whole 18-wheeler trailer truck full. There was Stacy Keibler. Kelly Preston. Krista Allen. Renee Zellweger. Sarah Larson. Elisabetta Canalis. Need I go on?!
George, any one of these beautiful ladies would have been fine to settle down with. You just didn't want to do it. It's not that you haven't met the love of your life yet. It's that your standards are a tad unrealistic.
Any woman -- any human being -- is going to have flaws. Like the fact that Renee's pinky toe was slightly longer than the fourth toe. Was that really worth breaking up over? Or the fact that Stacy Keibler once had an eyelash fall onto her cheek? It's just an eyelash, George. They grow back. It was really rude to accuse her of "falling apart" before your very eyes.
George went on to say that his first loves were Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. So typical of guys like this to give their hearts to dead chicks.
I do, however, think George has overlooked his true love. She's been staring him right in the face all of these years. She can be found in any of George's house mirrors. She looks just like -- George!
Do you think George needs to just get over it and settle down?
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