Actress Maria Bello Comes Out as a Lesbian in a Most Enviable Way

Love It! 4

Maria BelloAfter the divorces, the disappointments, the husbands who had affairs or came out as gay, the boyfriends who wouldn't commit, and the endless stream of bad dates, guys who disappeared, or ones who stalked you, girlfriends in their 30s, 40s, or beyond have a habit of turning to their best gal pals and lamenting: "Why couldn't we just be lesbian? Why couldn't we just fall in love with each other?" Yes, it's a dream we ladies who have been tossed out of the Love Boat in middle age have. Unfortunately, however, most of us are still hard-wired for men. Oh, that someone could invent a pill to change that. Luckily for actress Maria Bello, she didn't need a pill. She naturally fell in love with her best female friend.

Maria wrote touchingly about her love life in The New York Times. Most people were shocked to find out she was now gay. Maria has a 12-year-old son from a previous relationship. She says that she had been in love with a "handful of men and one woman" in the past. Of the men, two of whom she met on films, she says:

I was sure each was my soul mate, a belief fueled by sexual attraction that made me certain I was in love, only to find that when the filming ended, so did the relationship. And I read about the man who asked me to marry him four years ago over the phone, before we had even kissed. Three months later we were in his kitchen throwing steaks at each other’s heads in anger.

Yep, that's about it. Sexual attraction sparks the firm belief that this is the person absolutely meant for you. But it's just nature's way of making sure you procreate. Nature does not care if, a few years down the line, you want to throw a steak at the co-procreator's head.

Then Maria met a woman named Clare. She writes:

We had an immediate connection but didn’t think of it as romantic or sexual. She was one of the most beautiful, charming, brilliant and funny people I had ever met, but it didn’t occur to me, until that soul-searching moment in my garden, that we could perhaps choose to love each other romantically.

What had I been waiting for all of these years? She is the person I like being with the most, the one with whom I am most myself.

Sounds like me with my best female friends. Sounds like them with me. Sounds like every female I know who has a best female friend. There's just one thing missing: We're not sexually attracted to each other.

More From The Stir: 13 Things Not to Say When Your Friend's Husband Comes Out

Maria, fortunately for her, suddenly found that she WAS sexually attracted to her best pal. She writes:

My feelings for Clare aren’t the same as the butterflies-in-the-stomach, angst-ridden love I have felt before; they are much deeper than that.

Ahh, the ol' butterflies-in-the-stomach nonsense. Maybe those butterflies are your internal warning system, telling you that soon after the marriage proposal, you will look into your beloved's eyes and want to slap a (bloody rare) steak over them.

Well, good for Maria and Clare. I hope I'm not belittling their beautiful relationship when I say, in all honesty, it's one that many, many women wish they could have. Lucky gals!

Have you ever wished you could fall in love with your best female friend?


Image via itupictures/Flickr

4 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar Erin

As a lesbian, I am beyond thrilled to hear this news! However, I think it's also important to note that Maria did NOT come out as lesbian- she came out as a woman in a romantic relationship with another woman. Given that she said she had a relationship previously with another woman, I would bet Maria probably identifies as bisexual OR she may not want to put a label on her sexuality at all- she's just Maria in love with Clare.

Either way, the LGBT community is more than happy to embrace her as Family.
Congrats, Maria!

adamat34 adamat34

Im going to hold a.press conference and come out as heterosexual.

Seems to me no one is anymore, also I need a new set of laws written because I have redhair and feel discriminated against. People always call hs hot tempered. This makes me upset so I also need everyone to go out of their way to make sure I never have to hear an anti redhead remark again.if I do i cal draw attention to it on every website and news station forever and donations will pour in for my cause.



nonmember avatar maja

@adamat34 - i think redheads have the same rights as other heterosexual and have been never taken the way as homosexuals. So, your point is baseless. amen

1-4 of 4 comments