kimye at wendy'sSo, you're minding your own business, eating a hamburger and some fries, when suddenly there's a warm breeze. The air feels different. You see golden glitter swirling around. And then you see them: Kimye. Yes, people. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were spotted at a Wendy's in Philadelphia over the weekend. And someone snapped the two and posted it via Twitter because they knew we'd want to see it. Kanye is staring studiously at a French fry while Kim taps away at her phone.

I've got to ask: What is that like, exactly? What's it like to witness Kim and Kanye eating lunch right in front of you? I wonder ...

COUNTER WORKER: OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! It's Yeezus! [Genuflects] I know, I know. Hurry up with my damn croissants ...

KANYE: No, man, it ain't like that.

COUNTER WORKER: I am a god!

KANYE: Please stop.

COUNTER WORKER: Hurry up with my damn massage ...

KANYE: I just want your bacon portabello melt on a brioche and a side of fries. Oh, and a medium caramel Frosty. And for my girl ...?

KIM: Umm, do they have green juice?

KANYE: No, babe. We're at Wendy's.

KIM: What? How did that happen? Oh no, I'm getting pregnancy flashbacks ... So many fries ... so bloated ... can't see my feet ... Help ...

KANYE: Uh oh, we'd better get you a seat before you faint again like you did at Burger King last week.

kIM: Why do you keep bringing me to these places?

KANYE: 'Cause I want what I want! Here, sit down.

KIM: Oh my gaaaa, I so hate you for eating fries in front of me. And a shake. Do you secretly hate me? You know my nutritionist won't let me eat that anymore.

KANYE: SIGH. This argument again?

KIM: Whatever! I'm texting my assistant to bring me a green juice. That is my lunch, you big jerk.

KANYE: Why can't you let loose every once in a while?

KIM: BECAUSE! Someone will snap a photo of me, and next thing you know, they're calling me a whale again even though I am so NOT. I can't go through that again. I can't! [Starts crying hysterically]

KANYE: Babe, babe, look at your ring. LOOK AT YOUR RING. LOOK AT IT!

KIM: [Looks at her ring and it instantly calms her] Pretty, pretty diamonds. Shiny. Feeling better now.

KANYE: Worth every damn penny. [Stares pensively at French fry] I am a god ...

KIM: What, babe?

KANYE: Oh, nothing.

What would you do if you saw Kim and Kanye show up when you're out eating lunch?

 

Image via KimYeUpdates/Twitter