'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Brandi Glanville Makes TWO Housewives Cry!

TV Addict 11

carlton gebbiaI change sides when watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as quickly as the women change form-fitting satin frocks or Italy traded allegiances during WWI. Last week, I was staunchly anti-Lisa Vanderpump. This week, I was turning my chair 90 degrees, all the better to give Brandi Glanville a hearty dose of Becca-Stokes-brand side-eye. Sure, Brandi is as funny as they come, but lady, don't play like every major moment of this week's drama came courtesy of her stealthy pot-stirring. I see you boo, making all dem womenz cry. 

This week we got to know both of the new ladies a little bit better. While Joyce Giraud de Ohoven and her Chico's originals twinsets (burn, Chico's, burn) continue to fall in my estimation, I just dig on Carlton Gebbia more and more. Next week I might be forced to do a recap that's just "Here Are the Best Things Carlton Said This Week." I'm not alone in my obsession. 

More from The Stir: 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Kyle Richards Alienates Yet Another Friend

Yolanda Foster is positively smitten with her and I love it. What do you think Yolanda would look like with a thick, black moustache? I think pretty good. While Carlton and Yolanda bonded over their love of each other and beautiful women, a limo carrying the other ladies was on its way to Carlton's palatial estate. Two things about Carlton that I adore before we go on. She once practiced dark magic, and she believes that women could rule the world if we get out of our own way. If she started a cult, I would join it. Yolanda already has, but she was susceptible -- Lyme disease, etc. 

Carlton's home is riddled with "Victorian Balls," but I don't even care -- her place is wicked beautiful. Now I don't think I'd ever go a modern-gothic route when a designing a home, but lemme give the bitch her propers -- Carlton's home with its doll collection, its confessional, and its sacred touches is a scrumptious study in artful weirdness. The house is a real individual. It goes with the woman herself!

Carlton has zero time for bullshit, which is really too bad because she's invited Kyle "100 Percent Bullshit" Richards to her home for a meal. In a matter of minutes Kyle insults her by asking her about her religion and then demanding if she were a "real witch." She treats Kyle much the way my cats treat each other when they are annoyed -- she sneered and relocated after giving Kyle a cursory explanation of what it means to be Wiccan. 

While Kyle and Kim Richards busied themselves being the worst house guests ever, Brandi tattled to Lisa Vanderpump about the group's gossip on the ride over regarding her "fainting" on DWTS. What Brandi failed to mention? She had totally been part of that snide bitchfest! Sure, she copped to her meanness in her talking-head, but not to Lisa who had to take a moment to collect herself on the (breathtaking) patio. 

But Brandi wasn't done there. She decided lunch was as good a time as any to confront Kim about the rumors her husband was stepping out on her. I was squirming in my seat, but only because I did not know Kyle's face could move the amount it did when she tried to process Brandi's attack. In other news, we learned that Joyce has a very tiny vagina, that Carlton has killer comic delivery, and that Kathy Hilton, not a character on this show, collects creepy dolls (of which Paris and Nicky Hilton are two). You slay me, television, you really do.

Did you think the Richards sisters were rude to Carlton?


Image via Bravo

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nonmember avatar MissCheyenne

I felt bad for Kyle at that luncheon. Kim didn't really say much of anything. Carlton doesn't like talk of private parts of their men!!!!So she tells the world...hubby is hung like a ....all things ......a "DONKEY" I thought she'd like to surround herself with beautiful things and in my picture book a donkey is not one of them .all I can think of is a dirty green donkey d..k!! I thought what Joyce said at the table was cute...this Karl Ken is going to be very hard to watch she's a new meanie. . I think since Kelly ...Jill were given their pink slips the show is showing some real class and not as much of the F... bomb and cursing in general.

nonmember avatar Rachel

I just watched the new episode and my opinion with brandi is she have the intension of taking everything away anything from others because shes very hungry with fame and power. My observation with her behavior with this little brain running around with lose brain needs more education on how to act like a lady and less spitting bad words on television. Who she think she is?! A crack head dumb interesting girl that doesnt belong on beverly hills show is taking down those gorgeous woman. She shouldnt be on that show, she should go back where she belong. She doesnt deserve the opportunity of getting paid to survive, it sad to see that piece of shit expose Adrianne so bad and now is kyle because she have lisa, yolanda and the one who claims shes a witch to back her up. This people wants the viewer to accept them for who they are but make a hell of a big deal and criticize kyle with every little thing she said it is so stupid. Lisa and kyle use to be my inspiration but i will stay with kyle cause lisa should know better. Brandi is very nasty People shouldnt buy her book because i think its nonsense so many intelligent woman and classy deserve to be the best seller of the year. She maybe fuck who ever running that business like the words naturally comes out from her mouth.

nonmember avatar Leila

I love that Lisa and Kyle are finally getting their come uppance this season. Both are mean girls in different ways. Lisa is sneaky and manipulative while Kyle is aggressive. Carlton is really becoming my favorite this season. Brandi...i love her and loved her book (sorry Rachel) but she needs to take a second and think before she does some things. The whole Joana krupa thing was mean and literally below the belt no matter what Joana said. It could have been Brandis opportunity to rise above Joana but instead she went lower. *sigh*

I think Joyce is annoying. Shes the new Dana.

nonmember avatar Ann

Lisa was my favorite, but now Yolanda takes her place. I like Yolanda because I think she is a person with integrity. I don’t like Lisa’s demeanors. She can dish it out but she can’t take it. I know that Brandi has a foul mouth and things come out of her mouth are not very pleasant. However, she is an adult; she has a mother and leaves it to her mother to correcting her. It’s not Lisa’s place to correcting her in front of others people. That’s just not right. I just love Yolanda and I really like what she said to Lisa “You are her friend not her mother.” I now think that Lisa is a hypocrite and she is also calculating person too. Now she had a rift with Brandi, so she started defending Joanna (she went out dinners with Joanna) whom I think that she is an evil person. I wouldn’t call her a witch because it would be an insult to the witch like Carlton. Kim was playing on the phone and I found it was very disrespectful.

ninag... ninag1980

You like Carlton?  Ummmm ok.  Was it her award winning personality of bitchiness that attracted you?  Or the fact that everything annoys her?  She says she doesnt take things to seriously, yet she sure did get offended rather quickly because Kyle dared to asked about her religion.  That question was not out of the blue.  If my home looked like count draculas I would expect questions.  Carlton knows her home is a conversation piece, so please stop acting shocked when others are curious. 

As for Kyle, she has a little "Mean Girl" in her.  She was probably the pretty girl in high school who was super nice and got away with throwing a little shade every now and then

Brandi, eh, like Yolanda said, its Brandi, I dont take her serious

I think Lisa is still my fave

The other new lady (cant remember name) is trying to hard.  She will reveal her true self soon


Birgit Banyak Van Beber

Those Two are always " MEAN " when they are together..... I hated it when they made fun of Lisa at Dancing with the Stars .... Kyle does not deserve any Friends... She was on " Days " for a Camio and her Fcae looked so good and then looking at her Hand.....HAHAHAHHAH.....they look like a 60 year old womens Hands.... HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAsticking out tongue

surro... surromama

No I don't think they were rude. I think Carlton has decided she will not like Kyle because of a bee. She had more crosses than a church, I didn't see anything wrong with the question. I know Kyle can be bitchy and stuck up, they all can, even Yolanda. I don't care for Carlton. I didn't notice Kim do anything rude, but her falling off her chair was hilarious.

Standby Yourman

Yes they are rude - and not so much Kim as Kyle - and I am enjoying this REal House of Beverly Hills - I love BRANDI - YOLANDA - LISA AND CARLTON is a treasure = Sure Brandi overstepped her words by telling Lisa about the conversatiion ride over to Carlton's - BUT that is Brandi and that is why I love her - she will not hurt you - but you hurt her or her children - she is coming after you - hook line and sinker - YOU GO BRANDI - I love Yolanda's remarks about there is some truth to each rumor - and Brandy calling Carlton a C U next tuesday was the best - because it was not vicious - the other new one Joyce = your life is really  -  really boring - really now - to talk about your husband like that - really where is YOUR CLASS - UP YOUR ASS?


Reali... Realityaddict

YES they were rude....get out a book of etiquette before you become a guest for crying out loud!  STOP talking Kyle!  The more she talked the more I wanted to shout STFU!  It doesn't matter what Carlton would have said Kyle who insults EVERYONE with her "jokes" but can't take it back, would have made some sarcastic crack!

  Lisa and Yolanda are the only ones with any class


nonmember avatar Jennifer Tate

You should really watch what you say about Lyme Disease. Being sick does not make one susceptible to anything much less a certain type of person's cult. That's just an ignorant thing to say. I have Lyme and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I know people are making light of Yolanda's struggle, but trust me it's very real. Next, time you might think about certain things you say. I know these are supposed to be in good fun, but that was uncalled for unless I misunderstood what you meant with my Lyme and all, etc...

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