After the first part of The Real Housewives of Miami reunion was so explosive, I had no idea how this second half could ever pass muster. So spoiler alert -- it didn't. While the second episode still had its high points (hi Marysol Patton, I missed you), it was mostly the ladies rehashing the same ol' hogwash that occupied them for the entire season's duration. I rolled my eyes heavenwards and thought sexy thoughts about Romain Zago while waiting for it to pass. Don't we all, though?
Lisa Hochstein and Joanna Krupa kept bickering tonight, that was nothing new. What was fascinating was how the tables turned and how quickly Joanna found herself on the receiving end of the women's criticism. Rumors about her escort past have been thoroughly shot to nothing (that's what a good lawsuit will do for you, good for Joanna for not taking that lying down).
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But Housewives do so love rumors of a whorish past and they leaped all over the idea that Joanna had once been a lady of the night -- and that she didn't own her own house?
I didn't quite follow that whole deal. To be fair to my ability to cogitate effectively, it was cryptic and delivered by Adriana De Moura, who makes roughly 15 percent sense at any given time. But enough of her, let's talk about Marysol making a guest appearance. It seems she showed up simply to have folks coo at her about her parents.
She was also excited by the prospect of not giving Lea Black one inch. I mean, COME ON -- Marysol's pissed that Lea called her mom too much, Marysol's pissed that Lea didn't call her mom enough. Dude. You are obsessed with Lea and I get it, she's the tits, but enough already. If you are that worried about your ailing mother and father, spend less time on T.V. and more time with, you know, THEM.
Other stuff that happened included more makeup artists calling various women whores, and Alexia Echevarria accusing Lisa of being racist for referring to the group of Cuban women as a 'gang.' Uh, yeah, you know what's more racist than that Alexia? Actually saying, "Latin women are always late." That's not awesome. NONE OF THIS IS AWESOME. What is awesome is the fact that the ladies will be back for another season. I am already salivating, so somebody better bring me a bucket -- it's gonna be a long, wet off-season and my mouth juices will not clean themselves up from the floor.
What was the best moment of the reunion in your humble opinion?
Image via Bravo.com