Have you ever wondered what Justin Bieber is like in the sack? Well, wonder no more, lasses! One lucky lady is here to tell us all about it. The woman, a married mother of one and Brazilian "model" named Tati Neves, caused a stir when she posted a pic of the Biebs sleeping in a hotel room -- the implication being that she had just slept with the bratty pop star. But did she sleep with him or sleep with him? That was the question. Tati was coy about it. But finally a tabloid must have been willing to make it worthwhile for Tati to cough up the details, because she told The Sun all about her night with the graffiti-'n'-brothel-'n'-pot-lovin' idol.

Tati, who is 27 years old and reportedly separated from her husband, confessed to the British tab that she did indeed ride the Bieber flagpole -- and describes the encounter as "marvellous and unforgettable ... He has quite a fit body and looked great naked. Take it from me, he's well endowed and very good in bed."

Can I get a collective Ewwwwwwwwww?????

And also, according to Tati, Bieber is no slam-bam-thank-you-Brazilian-bimbo. He calls the next morning! CALLS. Not texts. This is where I start to think this whole story is made up. And anyone else find it odd that Justin sleeps with his trucker hat?

Apparently Justin wanted to see Tati again but she demurred, claiming "exhaustion" because of Justin's "stamina" and "energy." Oh, that old line.

Well, if this isn't enough reason for Selena to STAY AWAY from Justin, I don't know what is. The kid has gone off the rails. I guess he's just livin' the rock star life, but the rock star life seems rather sad and lonely to me. Spending the evening with women who care absolutely nothing about you, and who are only too eager to snap your photo unawares and then gab to the highest bidder about it doesn't seem like fun way to spend your time. Justin had someone who loved him and he seems to have screwed it up pretty badly. I guess he should be glad none of these women have beaten and robbed him yet.

I hope he finds his way back to normalcy soon, but it's unlikely given all of the sycophants, groupies, and users he surrounds himself with.

Do you think she should have spoken to the press?

Image via DeepNews24/YouTube