'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Kyle Richards Alienates Yet Another Friend

TV Addict 7

carlton gebbiaPrior to this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I adored Lisa Vanderpump. She was like Defoe's Moll Flanders, tenacious and plucky -- minus all the whoring. I wanted to go to her house and sit in a bed of thorn-less, pink roses with her and make snide remarks about all the people we knew. This season though, her occasionally sharp witticisms have vanished. Instead, she's subbed out subtlety with being just a big ol' bitch. I guess this is what happens when you stop eating in order to appear on a competitive dance show with some fellow named Gleb.

The dividing line was hewed in platinum and diamonds this week. On one side, Lisa Vanderpump, Brandi Glanville, and Yolanda Foster. On the other side, Kyle Richards, Kim Richards, Kim Richards' terrifying dog Murderer the Clown, and Joyce Giraud de Ohoven. Off in the corner glowering at the room and hissing about pentagrams while cursing at her children is my current favorite, Carlton Gebbia

More from The Stir: Lisa Vanderpump Serves Kyle Richards Some Serious Cool Shoulder

The dividing line is also a stripper's pole and I'm making my bottom dance. Later my bottom will do shots and catch the eye of a handsome if aged tycoon -- or so it tells me. You know how it is. What am I, my bottom's keeper? Hardly.

I often wonder with these shows if there comes a moment where your regret in choosing to participate crystallizes. I think we got our answer to that question the moment Carlton watched Kyle et al. murder a bee at her boring outdoor salad party. In real life, you go home from those gatherings, smudge your home with sage, say a quick prayer to Anubis, and never hang out with those people again. Carlton doesn't have that luxury because she's on a T.V. show with them. At best she can use dark magic to curse all and sundry. I don't mean to denigrate her system of belief. But god, what I wouldn't give for a day where Kyle Richards woke to discover that her arms and legs had been turned into breasts. Like Kafka, but with nipples, you know? Divine.

Kyle and Lisa continue blindly thinking that they are friends, when in fact they are mortal enemies. They spend most of their time trashing each other. Lisa snipes about Kyle only befriending people with houses on the markets. Kyle trills about Lisa faking-a-faint on Dancing With the Stars. In the distance Ken Todd is crying about uRINals. URINals! Emphasis absolutely his.

In other news and the Becca-points tally to date: Yolanda got her Lyme Disease port removed, plus 17,000 Becca-points. David Foster Wallace earned 11 Becca-points by being decent to her throughout. He lost 80 Becca-points because of Air Supply. Finally, Brandi's rented a new house with a foul oven (minus 7 Becca-points) and her mom looks like Paula Poundstone (plus infinity Becca-points). 

Do you think Kyle is better off forgetting about her friendship with Lisa?

Image via BravoTV.com

real housewives, reality tv, recaps, television


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nonmember avatar sandy

Admittedly, I am behind on the current season. (Thank you, Stir, for the updates...) Apparently, however, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Lisa has not trusted Kyle for quite a while, so that "friendship" has been dead in the water; only viewers and show producers keep poking it with a stick, in vain attempts to resucitate. As for the "teams" on each side of the jewel-encrusted dividing line: Not a fair fight, no matter how you look at it, or whom you favor. Yolanda is clear and brilliant; Lisa is cunning and far-seeing; and Brandi...well, ii's Brandi! Street smart, loyal, insightful when you least expect it: Best not-so-secret weapon ever. The other side: Gasping for those fleeting moments of fame (or is it infamy?). Fight over, TKO.

nonmember avatar horlarjay

Housewives indeed

Kerry Thorne

Can we do a season without Kyle. Bet it'll be drama free.

nonmember avatar slove

are you kidding me . i think brandi is just a total bitch. she just like to start a lil trouble because she is so miserable in her life after her husband left so she just needs a lil drama. i am all for kyle . she is such an amazing person inside and out. kyle is the only real person on this shows. omg i cant stand brandi she just says something very hurtful and later she says sorry which is not even fair.

nonmember avatar Carly

Yolanda is boring and apparently reliving her life through her daughters. She would not be missed. Brandi is maybe one step above a hooker, plain and simple. It is sad that her behavior appeals to people. She needs to be gone! That witchy woman is rude, condescending and vile. It is so apparent she has watched RHBH and chosen her side thus her remarks about Kyle who adked oerfectly normal questions. Can't stand her and there is nothing appealing about her. People get their animals acupuncture all the time - no big deal - what else you got? Lisa has outlived her part on the show. Time for her to leave too. I think she is a slithering someone that if you think she is your friend, you better watch your back. Just ask Adrienne! These shows are all about making drama to get paid the big bucks. Sometimes the extremes are too much. I have loved Kim Richards storylines so far this season. She is showing a new side if herself after rehab and it is refreshing. I would like to see more of Kyle's interaction with her store and its operation. Time for the Richards girls to move forward in life with interesting and appealing storylines and leave the catty drama to the other women who apparently relish it.

nonmember avatar Dottie

I agree with Carly. I believe they are bullying Kyle. And Brandi, well that child just needs serious help.

nonmember avatar Millie

I'd get rid of Carlton BIG TIME. Lady is boring.kim, out too. Man! It would be great if Camil comes back. Love love Joyce and Kyle. Yolanda is a Brandi kiss ass. Brandi has a load of problems but you have to admit the show is great with her on it. Anyway, no drama and I'm not watching. Love the drama.

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