Robert Pattinson Looks Mysteriously Cranky: His Inner Thoughts Revealed

LOL 13

robert pattinsonSomeone looks like he needs a hug! Poor Robert Pattinson, carrying groceries and looking so, so glum. This photo of Pattinson crankiness surfaced yesterday. It would be easy to speculate that he's looking Grumpy McGrumpter because he's thinking about Kristen Stewart. Or maybe he's annoyed that the paparazzi are snapping away at him -- can't a man buy some groceries in privacy?!? But I'd like to give Rob credit for being more complex than that. Here's what I think Rob is thinking in this photo.

Can't believe those jerks were out of Nutella. Who runs out of Nutella?!?

Aw crap, I forgot toilet paper again.

Hope the guys like edamame and miso dip.

Dude, Yasser Arafat may have been poisoned to death with radioactive polonium!  

Mmm. Beer.

My beard is at its perfect length right now, juuuust scruffy enough to be sexy. I wish this moment could last forever. I look so hawt.

Are these sunglasses the right shape for my face?

Rethinking the sweatshirt with shorts look. Thinking maybe it makes me look like a hipster dufus.

Especially black, baggy shorts.

With untucked button-up.

And the inexplicable hat.

Christ almighty, I think the way I dressed this morning may actually cancel out the sexiness of my facial hair. What have I done?!?

Yankees. W00t.

Why does that blogger from The Stir, Adriana Velez, care whether or not I get back together with Kristen? What the hell business is it of hers?

She's right, though. About everything.

Can't wait to tear into those Kettle Buffalo Blue chips. So not sharing them with anyone else.

Wow, $45 for Twitter shares on their opening day ... does that seem a little high? They've yet to turn a profit, so I dunno. Maybe they'll discuss on the next Planet Money podcast.

Hope no one sees this copy of Us Weekly in my grocery bag. That would be so embarrassing.

What else do you think Robert might be thinking here?

 

Image via Pacific Coast News

robert pattinson