Some things make you go "ooh!" and "eww!" at the same time. This is one of those things. Here is a video a Brazilian woman took of Justin Bieber sleeping -- presumably a postcoital snooze in her bed. Ooh, naughty gal! Eww, sex with the Biebs. (Shudder.) Watch her blow him a kiss. And then spend a little time contemplating this tantalizing koan: What on Earth prevented this from happening before now?
I mean, as repellent as it seems to me, there are surely hoards of women out there clamoring to make it with Bieber. Chances are good he's going to hook up with some of them, and then at some point, after he's blown his Biebs, he's likely to pass out. Obviously this is the point at which one pulls out one's phone to capture the moment for posterity and also for the Internet's general mirth.
Welcome to the age of the 21st century groupie. Sleeping with a rock star will never be the same. Can you blame this woman? She's just giving the people what we want. Are you not entertained?
Oh fine, sure, theoretically she may be some random woman who just happened to be in the same room with Bieber when he was asleep. Whatever. That's a possibility.
But more likely she's one of the prostitutes he supposedly visited while he was in Rio. (RIO! WOOOH!) I'm sure they're supposed to be more discreet. She may not keep her job after this. Then again, maybe she's so good at her job, it won't matter.
Here's my theory, if you really wanna know how twisted an entertainment blogger's mind gets: I think Bieber hired her to take this video of him sleeping. That's how hell-bent Justin is to burnish his bad-boy image ... still. We get it, Justin! You da man. You're the most gangster suburban white boy we've ever seen. We're all SOOOOO impressed. Oh ma gah, you visited a brothel in Rio? Why, no rock star has ever done THAT in the history of rock and roll. It's like Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones never happened. Wait, who are those guys, and what am I even talking about? Justin Bieber invented the party time pop enfant terrible cliche.
Whatever. Justin Bieber did stuff. Someone caught it on video. Now show me that part again where he gets hit in the head with the bottle -- because that was my favorite.
Are you surprised this is the first time anyone has posted a video of Justin Bieber enjoying a (probably) post-sex nap?