Amber Portwood Is Clean & Sober ... For Now

amber portwoodWhen Amber Portwood was sentenced to five years in jail, we all speculated about how the world might change in her absence. Would we be driving flying cars and eating our pizza dinner in capsule form? Would Kim Kardashian's pickled head be our President having saved us from a war against the tentacle aliens from planet Throbtron?

But when Amber's surprising early release came just 16 months into her sentence, it was like no time had passed at all (#kimkardashianforpresident #deathtothetentaclealiensofthrobtron). When Amber was sent into the clink, she was angry, drug-addled, and violent. Has any of that changed with such a brief stay at Shawshank in jail?


More from The Stir: Amber Portwood's Incredibly Early Release From Prison Is a Good Sign

Amber's brother Shawn Portwood says yes. While Amber herself has been uncharacteristically quiet (am I right, Gary Shirley, lol), her brother has been acting as her highly optimistic mouthpiece. Verily, Shawn Portwood is the Pollyanna of the Portwood clan, only his legs work. He was eager to share the news that Amber was clean and sober and looked great.


She does look good. Her eyebrows seem well-tended even if her hair is getting dangerously close to what I call 'Duggar-long.' Of course, while it's not impossible to get drugs in prison, it's not the best way of getting out of jail earlier than usual. Amber may have gotten sober in jail, but it's the real world before her that now presents her with true challenges. Luckily, it seems like she has a great support system in place and people who really believe in her. Her early release is a testimony to her potential to succeed, and to the inspiring endeavors of our benign overlord, the pickled head of Kim Kardashian.

Do you think Amber is done with drugs and trouble in general for good?


Image via Turgeon-Harvey/Splash News

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