Bruce Jenner recently turned 64. To celebrate this epic milestone, his family granted him temporary respite from the basement cell where he is typically held. For 12 minutes Bruce was allowed to listen to an instrumental version of the McCartney and Lennon ode, "When I'm 64," as played on the Theremin by a vagrant. It was a brief but earnest celebration. Then Bruce was locked back up while everyone else enjoyed cake and light torture.
What actually happened was that Bruce's family threw him a party featuring fake moustaches, a lot of selfies, and two cakes. Sadly, nary one dungeon pic was Instagrammed. In fact, there were no pics of Bruce enjoying his dinner at all. But there were plenty of photos of his guests, including one who wasn't necessarily expected to attend.
Bruce's wifey-from-another-lifey Kris Jenner happily joined the fray. In my mind, when it is your birthday and you invite Kris Jenner, she is like the Mad Hatter and every so often bellows "CHANGE PLACES" before forcing everyone to jump up and switch seats before she gooses you hard enough to leave a bruise. While I have not borne witness to the ass contusions that would validate this working theory, the photos she shared seem to indicate that she had an excellent time at the event.
Kris is adamant that she and Bruce are still friends but will never again join their trembling naked flesh in a union characterized by friction, chafing, and yearning. But the heart wants what it wants, mes chers, and I cannot help but view Kris's presence at Bruce's annual celebration of life as an indicator that all is not lost when it comes to a romantic future between the duo. Marriage is, after all, about more than passion, and these two share enough mutual interests in business and life to make a reunion not entirely unthinkable. Consider this: Bruce knows where all the bodies are buried.
Do you think Kris and Bruce will ever get back together?
Images via Steve Marcus/Reuters/Corbis; Instagram