miley cyrus cosmopolitanIt's been almost exactly two months since the infamous Miley Cyrus VMA twerkathon, and you know what? Chicken butt. She still doesn't regret it. Why do people keep asking her? In fact, Miley tells Cosmopolitan that the VMAs would have sucked without her performance. That's right, viewers. What else would you have talked about during the last week of summer if Miley hadn't dressed up in a nude plastic bikini and waved her ass at Robin Thicke? Not the VMAs, that's for sure.

"When people started complaining about the awards show, I was like, 'Have you never seen the f-cking video?' And what if I hadn't done that performance? The VMAs would have been bad," Miley crowed. And to tell you the truth, I can't recall a single other thing about that awards show except that they happened just a few blocks away from my apartment in Brooklyn while I was away on vacation.

What about Justin Timberlake's FOUR awards and several musical numbers? What about 'N Sync making their first appearance together since their 2002 breakup? Katie Perry introducing "Roar" --??? Ring a bell, anyone? Probably not. Without Miley's performance, I don't know what else about the VMAs we would have talked about.  So yeah, if "giving the chattering masses something to chatter about for the next two months" is the definition of a good VMA show, mission accomplished. Miley's number was definitely the showstopper of the night. Not to mention -- what the hell would we be dressing up for on Halloween without Miley? (Oh yeah, a selfie!)

And by the way, apparently we all missed the memo about how Miley's performance was a meta critique about the seriousness of the pop industry. Without her twerktacular, the VMAs "would have been missing something. The show was kind of making fun of how serious the pop industry is." Right? Okay? Like, the seriousness of pop needs to end now.

Thank God Miley was there to save us all from badness and seriousness! Pop music as a field has been saved from itself. I mean, last year we were all talking about Rihanna and Chris Brown's kiss of reconciliation, so obviously every VMA show is practically like sitting in on a panel discussion at the World Economic Forum.

Maybe Miley felt like this year's VMAs show (her performance aside) lacked pizzazz, and maybe she's right. I don't know. But I think it's a little sad that the best alternative to YAWN is cheezeball controversy. If anything, this is a wake-up call for pop stars to step up their game in a truly interesting way. Wouldn't it be amazing if after the 2014 VMA show we couldn't stop talking about someone's talent or brilliance? Could someone please try and make that happen next time? Because this Miley stuff is also starting to get kind of boring. Sorry, Miley, but you're next.

Do you wish Miley and everyone else would stop talking about that VMAs performance already?

 

Image via Cosmopolitan