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Big Tips Texas is my new favorite show that apparently no one is watching. The reality epic, much in the tradition of Beowulf before it, follows a tribe of noble warriors as they go forth to slay a murderous beast. I kid, I kid, it's about a bunch of ladies who sell drinks and expose their boobs and butt cheeks in order to endear themselves to their customers. I tried that here at the office. They made me go home.
Why this show doesn't have a cult following already makes almost zero sense. The characters are unbelievable! They squat and shoot guns! They chug minnows! They start salacious rumors about each other! THEY CHEW AND SPIT TOBACCO LIKE YOUR DECEASED RELATIVES OF YORE!
I will grant you this, MTV isn't making it easy for the show to develop the following it deserves. Who does their programming, FOX? Aye-Oh -- FOX programming joke. I kick it old school with my television bits, apparently. In order to sway you to my side, here are three things you need to know about Big Tips Texas.
1. Check Your TV Guide in Advance
This show likes to jump around. Imagine my despair when I settled down at 10 p.m. last night to watch it only to be informed that I had to wait until 11:30 p.m. MTV. I am roughly 800 years old. I will not stay up past midnight to watch your stuff on the weeknights. BUT THEN I DID ANYWAY.
2. Clothing Is Optional
They go to a place called Party Cove where they sit on boats and take their tops off. Then they bicker. Without their tops on. I promise you, it is redneck and bizarre and hilarious. Also, they literally have an event at the bar called "Anything but Clothing" where they all wear, like, fake flowers in lieu of pants. This is a thing that is real.
3. They Honor the Girl Code
That said, their idea of what Girl Code actually is? That's beyond warped. Without any real proof, they rise up against one member of the tribe when they suspect her of trying to poach another's man. Misinformed? Yes. Hilarious. Doubly so. Plus, silver lining, it looks like they are close to welcoming her back into the fold.
Have I convinced you to watch the show, or do you have another guilty pleasure occupying your time when it comes to reality TV? Share in the comments!
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