Gwyneth Paltrow's 'Epic Takedown' in 'Vanity Fair': 5 Secrets We Hope to See Spilled

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gwyneth paltrowThe GOOP is about to hit the fan, you guys. Remember how Gwyneth Paltrow was all flipping out because Vanity Fair was going to publish an "unflattering" article about her? Well, they're gonna go ahead and do it, despite the fact that Gwynnie launched an all-out campaign among Hollywood A-listers to boycott the magazine -- and it's being called an "epic takedown."

Yes, if there's one celebrity out there who isn't intimidated by the GOOP guru's near-blinding aura of Better Than Everybody Else, it's Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Graydon Carter. The seen-it-all publishing icon has dealt with plenty of famous people putting up big fat fusses over the years -- everybody from Roman Polanski to Lindsay Lohan has complained, loudly (Polanski sued Vanity Fair for libel). That's why Carter's reaction to Paltrow's comments comes as no surprise.

He dismissed Paltrow's tantrum thusly: 

"We wouldn't be doing our job is there wasn't a little bit of tension between Vanity Fair and its subjects ... In any given week, I can expect to hear from a disgruntled subject in Hollywood, Washington, or on Wall Street. That's the nature of the beast."

Indeed. But what, exactly, in this article is disgruntling Gwynnie? I can't help but hope that the piece will reveal a few dirty secrets -- dirty enough to knock Princess Paltrow down a peg or two. Such as:

1. Gwyneth Paltrow really HATES fish and would sooner "smoke crack" than go to a fishmonger.

2. Also, Gwyneth Paltrow actually does smoke crack.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow was lying -- she CAN pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year.

4. Instead of a $90 white t-shirt, Gwyneth's favorite tee is yellow with "Old Navy" across the front in turquoise letters.

5. There's no "woodburning pizza oven" in Gwyneth's garden. Girlfriend is addicted to Domino's.

What dirty secrets do you hope to learn about Gwyneth Paltrow in Vanity Fair?

 

Image via Getty

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