kristen stewart robert pattinsonThe celeb gossip mills are at it again, trying to glue the broken Robsten back together again. Supposedly, Robert Pattinson still loves Kristen Stewart and is using their dogs as an excuse to see her again. Because! RPattz + KStew = Tru Luv 4EVA & EVAAAAA!!! And I have two things to say about this: Yeah right.

A source claims that Rob is trying to arrange a doggie playdate with Kristen and their pets, Bear and Bernie. "Rob is clearly not over Kristen. When he saw a recent photograph of Kristen, he smiled and said she was wearing his baseball hat. It’s just so obvious." Yeah, I guess it does sound like Rob still misses Kristen -- if you're one of those obsessive types who overanalyzes every tiny gesture for hidden meaning. If you're not, you could conclude that Rob saw a photo of Kristen wearing his old baseball cap and smiled because LOL, she's still wearing that damn hat, doesn't she ever get rid of anything? But back to the dogs ...

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Rob's clever plan to win back Kristen (despite being the one who broke up with her in the first place) goes a little something like this. Quoth the source:

He for sure wants to see her and will use Bear and Bernie as an excuse to see her. He wants to have a playdate. They used to take long walks in Griffith Park with the dogs when they were together. He wants to do that with her. He will make it seem like the dogs miss Kristen, which I am sure they do, but Rob is the one who really misses her.

Yezzzzz, Kristen will never suspect a thing until she suddenly finds herself back in Rob's loving clutches. "SHE WILL BE MINE, OH YES, SHE WILL BE MINE," Rob cackles to himself, rubbing his hands together before a roaring fire in his library. I don't know why, but I picture him plotting this plan in his library before the fireplace. Just go with it, everyone.

Or don't go with it, because it's probably not true at all. I think both Rob and Kristen want to move on with their lives, and it's everyone else who's stuck in the past, trying to relive the Twilight glory days, and using any cockamamie thread of details to weave together a thin fantasy poncho of a reunion. (Um, did you follow that?) Move on, people! For the one millionth time, it's OVER. As Percy Bysshe Shelley once wisely put it, "Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow; Nought may endure but Mutability, yo."

Do you think Rob is using the dogs to see Kristen again?

 

Image via Joel Ryan/AP/Corbis