Some of us lead quiet lives of desperation. Others lead lives powered by intrigue and high-stakes drama. I raise my hand and freely admit to being a member of the former camp. I'm proud of being boring. Living my life careening from one awful, fraught situation to the next seems exhausting. Jenelle Evans claims to agree with me. Strange, since I have long suspected that instead of blood running through her veins, she's got drama keeping her heart beating.
Ah, but maybe that hasn't been her choice. Her latest tweets certainly seem to indicate as much. Jenelle claims that she's "done" with drama. Forgive me if I seem skeptical. I mean, I am "done" with the cookie I just ate. But let's be real: I'll eat another one tomorrow, you know?
Jenelle might be saying she wants to quietly go about living her drama-free life, but I'm not buying it. I know, she and the world are desperate to hear my opinion on all things Evans-related. It's a lot of pressure, but somehow I manage. Here's the thing -- if you love your life free of drama, you don't passive-aggressively tweet about how people need to just let you live your quiet life ... JENELLE:
Done discussing unnecessary bullshit. I'm happy with the life I am living now and very grateful to finally have. Happy and HEALTHY. ðï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ðï¿½ï¿½¸— Jenelle Evans (@PBandJenelley_1) October 10, 2013
You also don't date guys who get arrested for DUIs. Even if said DUI is because he was racing home to do you. Because you know what that story is? It's dramatic, y'all. Without drama, Jenelle would have no fan-base. Without a fan-base, she would have no career. Without a career, she might be reduced to, gee, I don't know, ripping into the choices of reality stars on a blog. In the immortal words of Jack Nicholson to teeny adorable Verdell in As Good as It Gets, "Don't be like me, don't you be like me!"
Do you think Jenelle really wants a drama-free life?
Image via Instagram