bruce jenner
Bruce and Kris in happier times
Bruce and Kris Jenner revealed on Tuesday that they are officially separated. And I don't know about you guys, but I was shocked when I heard the news. These two seemed rock solid; like Khloe and Lamar's unisex perfume -- unbreakable. Watching them interact on KUWTK was almost like watching a modern day, Ryan Seacrest-produced Romeo and Juliet. Kris and Bruce surely would have inspired Bill Shakespeare's greatest masterpiece were he still alive today.

If there is a single person out there who was surprised by Bruce and Kris' separation, I want to meet you. Actually, scratch that. I want to be you. Because I would love to go through my adult life with such a childlike sense of wonder. I'm sure you make out like gangbusters every year from the Tooth Fairy.

TBH, the only think I'm finding surprising about this "news" is Bruce Jenner's statement to People magazine. It's as if he believes he's the sole adult in a world full of gullible toddlers.

Bruce said: "I'm doing great. Kris is happy, I'm happy. Nobody is filing for divorce." He then said that he and Kris are so kosher with one another that he'll continue to appear on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. So basically! Nothing's changed at all!

If you've ever seen four minutes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, you know that Kris and Bruce hate each other. This season, Bruce went as far as getting his own beach house. Hence, separating. So I really don't see why this is news at all. What I do find laughable is the whole "we're not getting divorced" shtick.

If there's one thing the Jenner-Kardashians are good at, it's planning. And IMHO (I'm speaking Internet today, k?), this "announcement" is just a seed that's being planted. A seed that will eventually grow into a blossoming divorce tree. Because Kris and Bruiser have basically been separated since the Kardashians took over America. They're just making it official now. So don't fake the funk, Bruce, m'kay?

Some people are happy being separated from their spouse and living amicably sans a divorce for all of eternity. And that's cool. But that's not Kris and Bruce. They haven't appeared to be happy with one another for years now (remember Kris meeting with Todd Waterman?!). So I don't really think making things official will change their feelings about one another or their level of happiness.

Guys, I say just get divorced and get on with it already. We'll -- and you'll -- get over it.

Were you surprised about Kris and Bruce?

 

Image via Splash News