I've had a lot of different thoughts while watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I have never before thought they should turn off the camera. This week, watching Khloe Kardashian struggle to maintain her sense of privacy while being a willing participant in her family's reality show, I ached for it.
This isn't because I didn't find Khloe's pain compelling. If anything, it felt, on a mostly staged (but still awesome) show, like something supernaturally real was happening. In the faux-true-life landscape the family has worked to cultivate, there was something prurient about watching Khloe's actually-real problems on a granular level.
Whatever is going on between Khloe and Lamar Odom is private. Khloe struggled this episode to keep it that way. She did that without taking time off from her day-job -- of talking about her life on TV. The rest of the cast did their part, adding entertaining elements involving puppy training, scooter rides, hurt feelings, and razor-wounded vaginas. But this all seemed like white noise compared to Khloe's very real, very messed up personal life.
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Now that both Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are mothers, they have a special bond. It's something obvious that hardly needs attention called to it, but Khloe does anyway. It's no secret she's wanted to be a mom for ages. Rather than talk to their sister about why she's gone silent on the issue of having kids, heavily pregnant Kim goads her into seeing an adoption lawyer. Then Kourtney forces her to go have her eggs checked once more.
If you watched Khloe during all of this, you see someone going from grudgingly doing so for the camera's benefit to someone who is frozen, exhausted, and keeping so many secrets. Fair enough! It's her life! But after the episode's closing scene, wherein a paranoid (Khloe calls him "deeply depressed") Lamar calls Khloe and insists she's lying about where she is, it's obvious that she's carrying a burden. She needs help. Not from us, not from a tabloid, from her co-workers. Her family.
Lest I leave you in a complete mire of depression, let's talk about how Bruce Jenner's hair is continuing its ultimate plan to dominate and rule us all. It tries to train Khloe's dog, but that doesn't go well. If Bruce doesn't check it with his antics and start paying more attention to Kris Jenner, it's looking like she'll leave him for Scott Disick. Kris and Scott had a lovers' spat about Scott selling last year's Christmas gift. He poured her an entire bottle of wine and apologies were accepted. The artificiality of even this usually hilarious reality TV-team was tangible in the wake of Khloe's very real devastation.
What was up with Lamar on the phone?
Image via Eonline