farrah abraham sex toyHey, you know what's been missing from our lives? Farrah Abraham sex toys. You know it. She knows it. That's why she's been hard at work, having her lady parts cast into silicone so we can each have our own Farrah Abraham sex doll. God bless us, every one! Farrahs for the people. Who wants one? You! And you! And you! And you!

Okay, seriously, though. Who wants one? I'm sincerely curious. Because a company has gone and invested in the manufacture of these toys (say it like Farrah does: toh-EEZ!), and I'm assuming they did their market research and saw a lot of potential buyers. Really, potential Farrah sex doll owners? REALLY. What is it about Farrah that turns you on?

Check out the video -- this doll is going to be as anatomically correct as it gets. You'll be able to do everything with it. Use your imagination. Don't make me elaborate. Please.

In true Farrah style, we get a bizarre mixture of bimbo sex kitten and ... mommy! As she lies on her back, knees up, goop smushed up against her entire genital area, she points out that it's the same position she assumed when she gave birth. You know what? I am all for recognizing that sexual energy, creative energy, and motherhood all come from essentially the same place. That just because you're a mother doesn't mean you can't also be a sexual being. But somehow, when that idea comes out of Farrah mouth, it just makes me squirm. Ugh.

"Vaginal and anal!" Farrah squeals. "I can say those because I'm a mom!" WHAT? I don't understand how those two ideas are related. I swear, sometimes I think Farrah says effed-up shit like that just to be perverse. Maybe she's not as dumb as she seems -- maybe it's all really calculated. 

Or maybe I give her too much credit.

Anyway. What else is there to say? Now we have this, or we will soon. We could end up with a whole line of toys, not just the Farrah dolls. It kind of looks like she wants to reinvent the Rabbit, which ... good. (I mean, they kind of already did that with the Happy Rabbit but whatever.) It does seem like a natural fit for Farrah. Now you can reenact Back Door Teen. Just like ... you always ... wanted to ... sigh.

What do you think of Farrah's latest venture?

 

Image via Radar Online