The rain falls heavy on Orange County, California today. I mean, not literally. In fact, I just checked and it looks like another beautiful day on the West Coast. But the metaphorical weather is awful. That's because I just received word that Gretchen Rossi is not going to be on the next season of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Alexis Bellino also got the boot, but I care much, much less about that. Godspeed, Jesus Jugs, we barely knew ye.
Who will tunelessly sing for my amusement now? Who will alienate the entire cast with her half-truths and gossip? Who will I turn to for the most outrageous and white-fur covered ensembles? Not Gretchen, that's for sure. I blame Slade Smiley for all of this, because with a name like that, he invites it. I'M JUST KIDDING SLADE. Actually, I blame Vicki Gunvalson!
Let's be honest. As much as the show is all about drama and rivalries, there are some rules. One of the biggest? Never cross Vicki. The woman is a professional reality TV star, she's the veritable Mayor McCheese of RHOC. Can you engage in petty squabbles with her? Of course! Exhibit her entire dynamic with Tamra Barney. Vicki understands that conflict is what makes good TV. But try to really destroy her empire from the inside and she will end you.
This explains why Vicki's been so nonchalant about Gretchen lately. She shrugged off every mention of her, because as far as Vicki is concerned, Gretchen is now a non-entity. This also explains why Vicki was so willing to play grab-ass with Gretchen at Tamra's wedding. She knew she wouldn't have to see the woman again. Man, Vicki. Forget Vanilla Ice. You are the one who is too cold to hold.
Are you going to miss Gretchen?
Image via Bravotv.com