When it comes to the megawatt, beautific pairing of Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, let's just say these two look quite happy together, but part of that is that they know who's boss. And it certainly ain't Justin. We already heard that Jennifer refused to move to New York, Justin's hood. And she's definitely not having the wedding there, because that would be WAY too convenient for Justin's friends and family. And she's gonna spend her money the way she likes it. Hey, Justin might look great in his underwear, but we know who wears the pants. And the latest example of this is straight from Justin's mouth. Jen refused to let Justin keep his syphilis throat! No, no, no. Jen didn't need an emergency round of penicillin. And Justin is presumably syphilis-free. Well, he certainly is now. 'Cause no way was Jen letting Justin's collection of icky syphilis throats in their house!
Justin told GQ magazine, referencing the scene in When Harry Met Sally ... when a couple fought over the boyfriend's wagon wheel table (which eventually went out with the trash):
My wagon-wheel table is my syphilis throats. [They were] beautiful wax-museum pieces -- handmade, from the 1800s -- from a museum of curiosities. They're just these open mouths, with tongues, and in the throats are different stages, labeled, of syphilis and gonorrhea and whatever. They weren't going to be above the fireplace anytime soon.
Bumkill Jen made Justin move his oddities to his office.
There definitely comes that time when a gooey-eyed couple moving in together suddenly realize there are certain appurtenances from your honey that you just can't stomach.
I remember furiously trying to get my ex to throw out or give away a big bag of teenage era hockey sticks, which were taking up serious amounts of space in our closet. Closet space comes at a premium in New York. Oh, it was a terrible battle, my friends. He insisted he would one day get back into hockey and need his precious high school hockey sticks. Of course, he never got back into hockey. He never would get back into hockey. The hockey sticks were a manifestation of some sort of long-lost youthful, half-baked dream.
I'm pretty sure I prevailed over the hockey sticks. I could be wrong. I've blocked it out of my mind.
But Justin has that beat with STD throats. Seriously, I cannot imagine Jennifer Aniston letting tongues deformed with gonorrhea grace any mantel on her property. And you know it's HER property.
But will all of this bossiness finally emasculate Justin to the point where he's sleeping on his office couch next to his herpes lips? We shall see.
Did you ever make your husband throw something out that he desperately wanted to keep?
Image via GQ Magazine