'Tamra's OC Wedding' Finale Recap: Tamra Barney & Eddie Judge FINALLY Make It to the Altar & No One Can Stop Crying

Stuck in Reality 3

tamra barney, tamra's oc wedding, eddie judgeTwo things worth noting happened during this, the culmination of Tamra's OC Wedding. The first, Tamra finally got her vagina and butt-hole waxed. It was like a horror movie ... for the two male friends she forced into the waxing stall with her. No, but seriously. One of her dudes walked in and actually started screaming and clawing at his eyes while bellowing, "I SAW YOUR MUSSEL!" Classy.

The second and perhaps more pertinent event of this week's episode? Tamra and Eddie Judge got married! It happened! There was even a bike artfully dangling upside down from the ceiling and everything! Because of how Eddie loves bikes! Frankly, I'll admit -- I was pretty sure when we learned that Tamra's dresses weren't going to arrive until the morning of the ceremony that the whole deal was going to devolve into tears and stabbing.

That was not the case. It was fine. All three dresses (THREE DRESSES, Y'ALL) arrived and fit her to perfection. If anything, the whole wedding weekend was so uneventful that it was almost as dull as watching a non-reality star's wedding video. Remember how Tamra was fighting with her brother last week? Well this week they made up and hugged while crying. To be fair, that could have been because they were both drinking moonshine.

One of my favorite parts of the evening was Heather Dubrow and Vicki Gunvalson wearing matching towels to get their wedding makeup done. This excited Heather so much that she trotted out of the room to get hers when she spotted Vicki. The woman literally pranced off while singing, "Then we can be Twinkies!" Pretty sure she meant twins, but hey, maybe she also really, really likes Hostess baked goods. 

There was no family drama at the ceremony. I wouldn't have been well-behaved. I would have been cackling at the officiant who I'm pretty sure had a fake British accent. I bet she has a second career as a sex therapist. She probably hosts all her sessions in a hot tub in her backyard. 

Everyone cried either at the ceremony or at the reception. Somewhere a tissue mogul is twirling his mustache and cackling. All the Housewives wept too -- but out of happiness! Yes, in spite of all of Eddie's concerns, the wives were present, and they mostly behaved themselves. Did Gretchen Rossi talk during the entire ceremony? Yes. Was Lydia McLaughlin inexplicably wearing a child's floral crown purchased from Claire's? Maybe. But it was as though Tamra and Eddie's love had healing properties. Even Vicki was happy, all smoochin' up on Gretchen and what have you as Eddie and Tamra cha-cha'ed the night away.

What did you think of the big event?

 

Image via Bravo.com

recaps, television, reality tv, real housewives

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nonmember avatar Beth

"Twinkies" is a nickname for twins.

nonmember avatar Tamra's Clergy

Ms. Stokes, I know that some people make their living by being rude and crude, but I am not one of them. You may, or may not care for Tamra or Eddie, but, as Tamra and Eddie's wedding officiator, I can assure you that I am not anything that you joked about my being. I am the kind of person that you would want as a true friend. And, yes, I am a real wedding officiator with 5 academic degrees... the "real thing". Just a quick note to say that "I forgive you" for your unkindness to me, and hope that you will find a more "redemptive line of work" Regards, Tamra's Wedding Officiant -

nonmember avatar knows officiant

Can confirm, accent of officiant is 100% fake..

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