You guys. All this summer, while we were eating cronuts and twerking and arguing over whether or not "Blurred Lines" was a rapey song and refreshing our Twitter stream in hopes of news about the Royal Baby, a certain ex-girlfriend of Bradley Cooper was hiding a secret from us. Zoe Saldana married Marco Perego in a secret ceremony -- in June! It's been months. They've been on their honeymoon and back. They've opened all the presents and returned the toasters already. And we're just now finding out!
Also. Who is Marco Perego?
Marco Perego is an Italian artist who looks like a super-hot Jesus, what with his long blond hair and dark beard and vaguely somber, beatific poses (seriously, every single photo of Marco -- take a look). He made this sculpture of a man orally pleasuring a woman, so ... yeah, he's probably great at keeping Zoe happy. (Actually I think there are three or four people in that sculpture? Never mind.) He also used to be a professional soccer player. (Fans herself.)
So much for Bradley Cooper! Zoe was dating him on and off for the longest time. I seriously thought the next news about her was that it was back on with Brad. Didn't they just break up in January? So this romance with Marco was quite the whirlwind. But I think I know why she may be in such a hurry.
In an interview last year, Zoe confessed that she wanted to start popping out babies already. "At 22 you're like, 'I just wanna hold something!' You want a little critter ... I get along very well with animals and children. I dig them, I get them. They make perfect sense to me. A child makes perfect sense to me. A child speaks more sense than an adult half of the time." Well, two things. First, my guess is that Marco is more ready to have kids than Bradley was. And secondly, I sure hope Marco is the one adult who makes perfect sense to Zoe. AWW, you crazy kids! Congratulations.
Are you surprised to hear Zoe Saldana got married in June?
Image via Pacific Coast News