It's a dream come true! Did you hear? Robert Pattinson has been cast in the new James Dean biopic, called Life. You guys, the planets must have aligned for this one. Finally, proof that we live in an orderly universe. Of course Robert Pattinson is our next James Dean. Who else could possibly play that role? Rob was born for it. He and Dean are soul twins separated by different centuries, is all. Wow, what a perfect way to start the week.
What's that? Rob's in the movie but he's not actually playing James Dean? Oh. Wait. What? I'm confused.
So let me get this straight, someone is making a biopic about James Deal, and Robert Pattinson is in it, but they still got some other guy to play James? Why would you do that? There is so much ALMOST happening here. It's like someone just offered us a big, luscious piece of chocolate cake and then said, oh, by the way, it's actually made of carob.
Harrumph, I may need to talk this news over with a slice of real chocolate cake. But in the meantime, here's the scoop. Rob will play Dean's pal, photographer Dennis Stock. And Dean will be played by some guy named Dane DeHaan. WHO THE HELL IS DANE DEHAAN?!? Wail everyone except for Dane DeHaan's three or four fans. Dane is another wan, sensitive-looking white boy who starred in last year's sci-fi movie Chronicle. He's also our next Spider-Man, so you should probably Google him now so you can prepare for your next big celeb crush.
But for now we're just concerned with Rob. I'm trying to see the bright side of this news, confusing and wrong as it seems. Maybe it's better this way? Rob seems to be trying to crawl out from under another massively iconic role, Edward Cullen. If he were to take on James Dean, that would just be another iconic role that ends up defining him more than his acting does, know what I mean?
Not to mention, Rob said himself that James Dean was the inspiration for Edward Cullen's look, so all the more reason to avoid basically playing the same character again. Maybe Rob doesn't want to be known as the "new" James Dean. He just wants to be known as, well, Robert Pattinson, the original.
Are you disappointed that Robert Pattinson isn't playing James Dean?