It is officially time to stop feeling sorry for Desiree Hartsock. Oh sure, she missed out on the love of her life and had to settle for number two, Chris "The Bard" Siegfried. Yes, she's stuck with a man who writes poetry. But will you please look at him? Chris has grown out some f***-me facial hair and decided to stop wearing a shirt. Doesn't work for Justin Bieber, but on Chris? I do! I mean, yes, eeexcellent sartorial choice, Siegfried.
Desiree posted photos of the dinner she and Chris had on the water outside Seattle. I don't understand why they're with other people, though. Make them go away, Desiree! Chris took off his shirt for you and you're yukking it up with your pals and Instagramming? WTF with your priorities, lady? Put the damn phone down, push your friends off the raft, and get busy.
When you're kissing Chris, he can't write poetry. Just saying. You're doing us all a favor.
And while I'm thanking people, I'd like to thank Chris for not waxing off his chest hair like many other guys have been doing lately. Don't do that, guys. Okay? Don't wax your chest.
Anyway. Brooks who? I don't know if this relationship is real, and I don't know how long it will last. (Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fan answer: Real and Forever.) But if these two can just stop taking pictures for a few minutes, I think they could at least have a lot of fun with each other. Maybe they could even, you know, get to know one another and finally figure out if they're a good match -- when no one is looking.
What do you think of Chris's burgeoning beard?
Image via Desiree Hartstock/Instagram