Was it only a year ago that I wrote "7 Love Lessons From Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom" -- and wasn't being sarcastic? Apparently it was. At the time, their marriage was going gangbusters. Khloe appeared to be the sister with the most rock solid relationship. How things change, eh? I can barely keep up with Lamar's troubles from one day to the next now.
Looking back at the "love lessons from Khloe and Lamar," I'm struck by how good they seemed for each other. Remember when Lammy told Khloe that she was "perfect" even when everyone else, including her own mother, was trying to get her to lose weight? Remember when Khloe left a used tampon in the toilet on purpose and Lamar lovingly fished it out? Remember?!!! WHAT HAPPENED??? Anyway, I guess it's time we update the Khloe and Lamar love lessons. These won't be as cute. Here are 7 new love lessons from Khloe & Lamar: The Crack Later Years.
Keep your husband's drug addiction a secret. Khloe may have seemed like she was revealing everything about herself and her relationship to her fans, but ho ho ho! She was not. Reportedly, Khloe didn't even tell her family about Lamar's drug issues. A source told US Weekly:
Khloe did keep her marriage issues with Lamar a secret from her family for quite some time -- no one knew.
Well, serz, would YOU go tell that family anything? And while it's nice that Khloe wanted to keep her husband's issues private, the saying, "You're only as sick as your secrets" applies here too.
No matter how much evidence there is that your marriage is imploding, rant on Twitter like everyone is making shit up. Rumors of marriage meltdown are at an all-time high, but Khloe just keeps swinging on the social networking site, tweeting:
Really hard to sit here and listen to people talk sh-t about my family! F-ck you and shame on you! I'm too protective for this sh-t! ... Stop trying to figure me out and get to know yourself first.
Err, somebody needs to tell Khloe what that whole reality TV show thing is about again. She seems to be under the impression it's about privacy.
Deny, deny, deny. Before the rumors just got too big to keep denying, this was the modus operandi of both of them, with Lamar saying:
Before her there never was and without her will never be. Wifey is real.
Don't be cowed by mistresses. Totally confront them at their hotel rooms. Bust down the door if you need to.
Keep 'em guessing. Step out without your wedding ring, but then the next time you go to the gym, wear the same outfit, but cover up your ring hand. Haha! That'll learn 'em.
Totally blame your wife and her family for your probs. Lamar apparently blames the Kardashians for the leaks about his drug abuse struggles. It couldn't be the fact that, ya know, you're famous and, ya know, doing (reportedly) drugs.
No matter what, just keep posting selfies. Say one thing for Khloe, the worse her marriage gets, the better she looks. Go girl!
What lessons have you learned from Khloe and Lamar's marriage?
Image via Splash News