'Tamra's OC Wedding' Recap: Eddie Judge Gets Way Too Close to a Stripper for Tamra Barney's Taste

Stuck in Reality 14

tamra barney, tamra's oc wedding, eddie judgeI, for one, have been looking forward to the premiere of Bravo's Tamra's OC Wedding since I learned of its inception. Tamra Barney, my favorite of the OC Housewives, planning her third walk down the aisle with her sexy Latin paramour Eddie Judge? Sign. Me. Up. I was not disappointed.

Tam-Tam is sparing no expense. She's hired Diann Valentine, celebrity wedding planner, to make her big day flawless. Valentine's client roster includes Usher, which seems to really excite everyone so we won't dwell on how that union totally didn't work out. Plus, she's promised a row of harpists. A row, y'all. It's enough to make Tam's "best-man" Ricky Santana literally swoon: "Harpists Tamra, HARPISTS!"

Tamra has no idea what she wants for this wedding. Not the flowers, the cake, the music -- any of it! She keeps mumbling stuff about Eddie's passion for Gummi Bears ("he wants one on top of the cake") and a need to insert "Latin flair." This confuses everyone including bridesmaid Vicki Gunvalson, who asks, "So, like, a sombrero on the cake?" Oh Vicki, with her casual, baffled, racism -- that lovable scamp.

Tamra does know that she wants her grown-up son Ryan Vieth to give her away. Aw, touching! I always forget that Tamra has roughly 87 children. I'm childless, and I look closer to having birthed that many kids than she does. Then again to be fair (to myself), the woman does OWN a gym.

Eddie is equally psyched to get married "for real," since they both have decided their previous unions "don't count." (Aaaaand cue Simon Barney's inevitable Twitter rant.) In a very I Love Lucy exchange, it becomes clear Eddie's tweaking about the budget for this wedding, which, to Tamra's mind, doesn't exist. She's talking about butterflies flying out of the invitations and buying a $2,500 cake. For that many dollars, I could buy enough cakes to live on, most likely until my death. From cake eating.

Just when I started to giggle nervously at Eddie referring to Gretchen Rossi and Alexis Bellino as "that" instead of as, uh, people with names, the couple and their buddies gallivant off to Vegas for a joint bachelor and bachelorette party! Yay! A terrible idea!

Vicki couldn't make the trip (*cough* Brooks Ayers is a tool *cough*). Luckily, fellow bridesmaid Heather Dubrow and hubs Doctor Terry "Be My Uncle" Dubrow join up for the fun. As the group gets ready to divide up into guys and girls for the night, Tamra's exploits with the Mexican strippers are revisited, and Eddie gets mad. He's jealous enough that he decides it's a brilliant idea to let a stripper put her full boob in his mouth. I was aghast! So was Dr. Terry. Being the best, Dr. Terry says, "All these half-clothed women, it's like another day at the office." Then he sends his wife a pic of the raunchy proceedings! Heather was hilariously shocked. "Oh my god," she whispers, staring at her phone, "Can you get a disease from nipple biting?" I don't know, Heather, but I do know that the stripper was named Alize, and for that ingenuity alone I salute her.

Tamra "confronted" Eddie about his handsy antics, and Terry totally got blamed for everything. Uncool! LEAVE DR. TERRY ALONE! Luckily for us as this is only the first episode of the show, Tamra and Eddie talked it out and decided to a) still get married and b) go have sushi for dinner. #romanceyall.

What did you think of the premiere? Do you think joint bachelor and bachelorette parties are a good idea or a recipe for disaster?


Image via Bravo

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bills... billsfan1104

For fucks sake, it's not Racist to say a Sombrera. Some being so damn sensitive.

youth... youthfulsoul

I don't think a joint party is a bad idea but that wasn't exactly a joint party and Eddie's behavior was way out of line.

nonmember avatar tj

What's good for Tamra is good for Eddie

Diana Mace Drury

It's gonna cost about $500 for guest from what I estimate.no wonder Tamara shows her Brazilian wax on national t.v. Wonder how much Bravo paid her for that scene!!!!!! Not to mention, the flowers, wedding planner let alone the venue. It's a shame to spend so much money! It's not what you spend but the commitment to each other. She is not even listening to Eddie about the costs...let's start this partnership upside down and broke!

nonmember avatar Prettypinkie

Tamra is just Pumping up the storyline , Tamra is so full of Shit an Eddie knows all about everything an anything when it comes to Tamra that's for sure. Tamra needs to show off all the Drama , Yelling and Vicki wasn't there cuz she was with good old nasty mouth Crooks that's why she didnt make it all these lies it's not fun to watch no more you can tell what's a BS storyline or not .....

nonmember avatar LyndaS

This Bravo "special" is silly. The viewers are aware that they did marry. Therefore, any arguments that express, "if you do such and such, we can't be together" or the like, are overblown and irrelevant. Eddie decided to exact his kinky revenge on Trampa (for her Mexican escapades with male strippers). And it was a dish best served cold. Meanwhile, Tamrat thinks concealing the price of the wedding from cheapo Eddie is smart. So, her angle is to deceive him. That shows they both are immature, selfish, fame seeking fools. Most likely, Bravo is paying for everything. If Eddie wants the exact same wedding he had his first time at the altar, then he isn't very committed to changing his luck, is he? Frankly, I find him more annoying in this show than the RHOC. Maybe, he should stick to being a silent partner. Tamra claims that she has changed due to her on camera revelations. However, she still screams like a banshee, and acts like a teenager when she wants her way.

Norma Starnes Sawyer

I'm glad Eddie showed her ass that he can do what he wants!  


 

Kay Wiermaa

I think Eddie went way further than Tamra.  You didn't see Tamra holding hands bringing a stripped upstairs, sucking on his nipples, or grabbing his a$$ as he straight up humped her.  She also didn't juggle his junk right up in her nose.  I think it would've gone way further had she not walked in.  I think it was set up to be his last sexual act with a stripper....at least I hope it would be.  Shame, Eddie.  And I like them very much as a couple.

Trish McDermott

This writer must be as dumb as a trailer full of bricks.  She doesn't know the difference between racism and stereotyping.  Sheesh...get a freaking dictionary you donk.


 

Sandra Signorelli Marasigan

OMG, I can't believe Tamara went so crazy on EDDIE, when she was doing the samething at her party. They were both being disgusting. Those parties don't have to be like that, it could be stopped.

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