Vicki Gunvalson, you shameless tease! The original OG from the OC (as Uncle Andy Cohen is fond of calling her) sat down with a Bravo interviewer to reveal some "big secrets" in a brand new video. I watched it with bated breath.
What could she be hiding? Is Brooks Ayers actually a woman? Is Briana's new baby Troy actually Vicki's son? Basically, if it existed as a plot line on a low-budget telenovela, I was sure Vicki was going to say it.
I have never been more wrong.
Instead of dishing up any dirt from her past or that of her fellow Real Housewives, Vicki talked about being a huge fan ... of cooking. Vicki. That is not a secret!!! Everybody cooks. Because we need food to live. In addition to sharing her passion for German cuisine (of course, she loves sausage), she also professed to being "very domestic," really digging tasks like sewing. Wow!!! I mean, Wow. Sigh.
Well, now that Vicki's dirty secrets have been aired, I think Bravo owes it to us, the viewers, to showcase all of her hidden skills on the show.
Picture it, Gretchen Rossi is explaining to everyone why she isn't the worst. Rather than adding her two cents, Vicki just quietly mutters something about how she "dropped a stitch." Then, she holds up a gorgeous knitted cashmere evening cape to show the camera with a grin. Who needs drama when you've got CRAFTS, am I right?
Even better, picture Vicki (or as I've long called her, Screamy) storming off the ski slopes after bellowing at Lauri Peterson for making false accusations about her sex life. ("THREEEEEESOOOOOMESAHSHEHANCNA," Vicki skied off screaming.) Rather than rehashing the argument with her friends and cast members, Vicki solves the dispute the best way she knows how. By making schnitzel for the whole group and then not letting Laurie have any.
Martha Stewart, look out. Vicki's coming for you, and I'm pretty sure if you two ever find yourselves bunking up in prison together, she's got a crochet hook with your name on it.
Would you like to see Vicki do more domestic crafts on the show or stick to her usual routine?
Image via Twitter