Miley Cyrus

It was supposed to be Justin Timberlake's show but it ended up being all about Miley Cyrus. Because her performance at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards was so, um, out there? From the dancing bears, to Miley's embarrassing twerking, her butt hanging out of her plastic pants and looking saggier than a wet hen, and her tongue hanging out of her mouth, looking longer and pointier than Gene Simmons in his prime, Miley stole the show -- and not necessarily in a good way. I can only imagine Robin Thicke was thinking, "How? Why? What? Where am I?"

Watching the performance, it's sort of hard to know why Miley's a star. Pretty much every 6-year-old in the country dances around their room in the way that Miley parades around a stage. She sings about as well as most of the kids I know too. Here's Miley doing her thang. Whaddya think?

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There were were some good performances tonight, starting with Justin Timberlake, who took over the entire middle of the show with a medley of his greatest hits. Halfway through, the other four members of his former band, 'N Sync, joined him on stage. They were basically relegated to back-up dancers, but hey, would they have gotten into the VMAs otherwise?

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Justin seemed to have his own number one fan in the audience in the form of Taylor Swift, who had the misfortune (or good fortune?) of being smack dab in front of a camera -- which made for lots of close-ups of Taylor gyrating and singing to the JTathon. Taylor didn't even perform, but she managed to steal the show anyway with her speech after she accepted a Moonman for Best Female Video for "I Knew You Were Trouble."

Still apparently not quite over her fling with Harry Styles, Taylor snapped, "I want to thank the person who inspired this song, he knows exactly who he is." The camera then panned predictably to Harry, who looked bemused. (Hey, Taylor did wonders for this kid's profile.)

 

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The cameras also seemed to catch her mouthing, "Shut the f**k up," as Harry's band One Direction presented. Cue the GIFs we'll see for eternity. Here's one:

Wouldn't you love to be at the VMA after party at a table with Taylor and Selena Gomez? You just know those girls love to bitch.

Nah, me neither.

Image/video via MTV

Video via Crushable