Remember sweet-faced, innocent Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years? Did you know the actress who played Winnie, Danica McKellar, went on to become a math scholar and co-author what was eventually termed the "Chayes–McKellar–Winn theorem" before writing four amusingly-titled non-fiction books intended to encourage middle-school and high-school girls to succeed in mathematics (Math Doesn't Suck, Kiss My Math, Hot X: Algebra Exposed, and Girls Get Curves: Geometry Takes Shape)? Did you know McKellar is currently making headlines for frenching Avril Lavigne?
I know, that was kind of a random paragraph. But that's what makes this news so incredibly weird: Avril Lavigne's new music video "Rock N Roll" features a hot n' heavy makeout session between Lavigne and Winnie -- err, McKellar. I guess it's supposed to be provocative and sexy and outrageous, but honestly, it just makes me feel old and really kind of nostalgic for that time when Winnie kissed Kevin in Harpers Woods.
So, Lavigne's video is pretty much all over the place -- it's sort of a Tank Girl ripoff with Lavigne fighting a bear-shark creature, a knife-wielding lobster, and a Segway-riding Billy Zane before her dog drunk-crashes her car and she swaps spit with Danica McKellar.
As for the music … well, technically a cat throwing up in the hallway at 4 A.M. is probably worse, but this is a damn close second. Check it out, if you dare:
Wow. That was truly awful. But here I am writing about it, so I guess Lavigne achieved what she was aiming for. Well played, you talentless faux-punk marketing construct -- well played.
As for why McKellar agreed to take part in this aural and visual monstrosity, I can only guess that she's hoping to reboot her acting career, by reminding us all of the household name she once was -- yeah yeah, the Wonder Years-style narration referencing Winnie's first kiss, we get it -- while simultaneously showing off the 38-year-old hottie she is today.
Personally, I think I liked McKellar more when she was cranking out the empowering math books. Anyway, now that you've had all your pleasant Wonder Years memories besmirched with this video, let's try and remember Winnie as she used to be:
Ahhh, that's better.
What do you think of this Avril Lavigne video?
Image via YouTube