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We thought we'd heard the last of Brooks Forester, The Man Who Didn't Love Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock. He broke her heart and left her to marry the other man of her dreams -- what was his name again? Oh yes, Chris Siegfried. Also known as Chris I Suppose You'll Do, the Emergency Fiance. That's going to end well, I'm sure. But now, instead of being a gentleman about the whole thing, Brooks is making fun of Chris and, for all things, over Chris's penchant for poetry.
You may recall Chris's frolics with verse on the show. While on a seaside date in Portugal, he made Desiree compose a poem with him, writing it on parchment paper and sending it into the ocean in a bottle. How romantic uncomfortably cheesy. And you know what? Now would be a good time for a public service announcement: Despite what your high school English teacher told you, not everyone can write poetry. You really should leave that shit up to the professionals. At the very least, scribble your doggerel in private, but then burn it. For the love of all that his holy, do not read it on national TV.
Okay, so fast forward to now. The series is over. Chris the Bard has won. And look who's making fun of him. Via Twitter, Brooks pens a few poetic lines himself: "Time flies like an arrow. Veggies fly like a tomato." Just in case you were about to give him the benefit of the doubt and propose that maybe he just likes writing poetry, too, Brooks added, "poems are written and poems are read but thanks to @ChrisRSiegfried poems are dead. #MuchLoveChris."
Ouch! Chris killed poetry. I was going to scold Brooks for being such a spoiled sport over a game he essentially forfeited. Is it really good form to mock a competitor you let win? What is that even about, anyway?
But maybe Chris deserves to be mocked for his schlocky performance. Maybe Brooks is just revealing what a farce this whole Bachelor/Bachelorette game is. It's every bit as forced and saccharine as Chris Siegfried's tortured verse.
I was kidding about non-poets writing poetry. By all means, express yourself. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Just don't fake it like I'm pretty sure Chris has been faking it all along.
Do you think it's rude of Brooks to make fun of Chris's poetry writing?
Image via ABC